Ok so, I had nowhere else to go so I hope I get support and advice from here. I'm a girl and I got married about 4 and a half months ago. It was like an arranged love marriage, the guy liked me so I had a few meetings with him and talked to him a lot over the phone before deciding to get married.... But obviously with consent from both parents on my side and his. Don't know whether to call that arranged or love since there wasn't exactly a dating stage, but we both liked each other and made our own decisions.
So anyway, after going through quite a steep learning curve (since this is my first relationship) I feel like something is not right. I don't know whether I'm just being silly or this is actually an important part of a relationship. Basically, since the beginning of marriage I haven't really felt special. I feel like he's completely taken me for granted, ever since the start, he did compliment me and say stuff to show that he appreciates how I am, but that was it. He never tried to find out what I like, what I don't like, my hobbies or interests or anything, we hardly had (and still don't have) very much in common so we didn't exactly have many conversations, and for me finding out about your partner is what strengthens a relationship I'm sure? I felt like he wasn't interested in me, he was on his phone a lot (which he's cut down on but every time I'm with him he still checks it every few minutes which makes me feel like it's boring to be with me and that he'd rather be on hi s phone) he's never exactly done romantic stuff which shows any effort....in fact, I feel like he doesn't put any effort into the relationship at all! He will always kiss and hug me when he wants sex, but other than that we don't have that sort of 'friendship' relationship that I'm craving, if you get what I mean. Oh God I could go on forever which would be terrible for anyone who wants to help so I just want to ask, what should I do? I've tried telling him but he thinks these issues of mine are trivial and insignificant, he doesn't seem to understand that the little things mean the most. Also, is that normal in a relationship? Usually near the start it should be the most passionate where he would try and do a lot to impress the girl...do you think it's because we got married so he feels like he doesn't have to work for me? And before anyone says anything, I do a lot for him. I always dress up for him, I care for his health so I freshly hand squeeze oranges specially for him cause I know he likes Orange juice. I make homemade healthier milkshakes for him. When I go shopping I always remember what he likes and get it for him. But he's never done anything like that for me, he's never even made me a cup of coffee, heck, he doesn't even clear up after himself! It's like he expects me to do everything! Like if he eats a little yogurt in the bedroom, he will leave the tub and the spoon, and when I clear it up and tell him that he just expects me to do it, he says 'i was gonna do it!' But I've tested that out and it will stay there for days then he says he forgot, but it clearly shows he just doesn't take it as a priority. I feel as though he doesn't care for me because of the little things he doesn't do. Please help me and tell me if I'm just being stupid and picking on irrelevant things.
Oh, and I'm confused because he says he loves me and cares for me, but his actions don't show it. I mean, if you care for someone, and they have worked really hard to prepare your favorite dish and then after eating she has a whole pile of dishes to do plus clearing the kitchen, would you not at least offer any help instead of just sit there on your phone? Most the time he wouldn't even take his plate to the sink! I don't know what other people think, but if you care for someone you wouldn't be able to bear watching them work so much for YOUR sake and not helping them. Even if it wasn't for your sake, you would want to do stuff that makes their life easier simply because you love them, no? Sorry for the long post and thanks in advance to anyone who replies.
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