In many ways I feel ashamed to even write this post. I have been married for the past 25 years to my soul mate and mother of three now grown children. She is intelligent, compassionate and attractive. A perfect spouse.
And I know she would never cheat. I suppose many people might roll their eyes at that statement, but I know her well. She is deeply religious and she has been nothing but loyal during our years together.
The problem is my insecurity. I have always been somewhat insecure, but it grew worse when my wife turned 50 last year.
Turning 50 was hard on my wife and she sort of went through a mid-life crises. She responded by changing her look. She dyed her hair blonde, purchased a new wardrobe and lost weight. All these were healthy choices and I was supportive. But secretly I was insecure. Would she still want her short, overweight, balding husband after she transformed her looks?
I did express my fear to her, but she assured me that she loves only me and she wants to look and be attractive for me.
But then I did something stupid. I let irrational jealousy play with my mind. And it was all in my mind, nothing happened. I am actually embarrassed to even relate my feelings. But here it goes.
Over the years my wife has supplemented our income by giving piano lessons in our home (she is a full time music teacher.) Mostly her students are kids, but she occasionally has adult students. One of such student is a 19 year old kid that attends our church.
And here is the thing – I caught them doing… nothing. He comes over for piano lessons once a week and that is it. The lessons are Wednesday nights while I am here.
So why was I jealous? Because they seemed to "light up" around each other. And because my wife seemed dress somewhat inappropriate around him. Actually, it was not inappropriate or ****ty. But she showed some cleavage and I notice that he glanced frequently.
Anyway, I always try to be honest with my feelings with my wife so I talked to her after one of the lessons. I told her she should dress more conservative so he wouldn't get the wrong idea. Big mistake.
She went into a rage I have not seen in 25 years of my marriage. She accused me of being a pervert in thinking such things. And that I was a controlling and insecure monster. And how could I think that she was a *****?
I immediately apologized. But that did not do any good. Flowers the next day also did not seem to help. It has been six weeks and I am still in the doghouse. What do I do?
And I know she would never cheat. I suppose many people might roll their eyes at that statement, but I know her well. She is deeply religious and she has been nothing but loyal during our years together.
The problem is my insecurity. I have always been somewhat insecure, but it grew worse when my wife turned 50 last year.
Turning 50 was hard on my wife and she sort of went through a mid-life crises. She responded by changing her look. She dyed her hair blonde, purchased a new wardrobe and lost weight. All these were healthy choices and I was supportive. But secretly I was insecure. Would she still want her short, overweight, balding husband after she transformed her looks?
I did express my fear to her, but she assured me that she loves only me and she wants to look and be attractive for me.
But then I did something stupid. I let irrational jealousy play with my mind. And it was all in my mind, nothing happened. I am actually embarrassed to even relate my feelings. But here it goes.
Over the years my wife has supplemented our income by giving piano lessons in our home (she is a full time music teacher.) Mostly her students are kids, but she occasionally has adult students. One of such student is a 19 year old kid that attends our church.
And here is the thing – I caught them doing… nothing. He comes over for piano lessons once a week and that is it. The lessons are Wednesday nights while I am here.
So why was I jealous? Because they seemed to "light up" around each other. And because my wife seemed dress somewhat inappropriate around him. Actually, it was not inappropriate or ****ty. But she showed some cleavage and I notice that he glanced frequently.
Anyway, I always try to be honest with my feelings with my wife so I talked to her after one of the lessons. I told her she should dress more conservative so he wouldn't get the wrong idea. Big mistake.
She went into a rage I have not seen in 25 years of my marriage. She accused me of being a pervert in thinking such things. And that I was a controlling and insecure monster. And how could I think that she was a *****?
I immediately apologized. But that did not do any good. Flowers the next day also did not seem to help. It has been six weeks and I am still in the doghouse. What do I do?
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