My wife and I have been together for 19 years, married for 10 in May. We got involved young and we had a child when she was 19. I'm 6 years older. There were some challenging times but we made it through them. We had 2 more kids 10 years after the first and we both love the kids more than anything. Although things have not always been perfect, I thought we had a happy life together.
About 3 years ago I discovered she was having an emotional type relationship with a guy from her work. I confronted her and she apologized and said it was harmless flirting that got out of hand. Problem was it did not seem to stop. This continued off and on for at least 2 years that I know of. Then in the beginning of this year I discovered a number on our phone bill that she was texting like crazy. I found out it was another guy and confronted her. At first she claimed it was a girl, but after I told her I called the number she said it was a guy from work going through a divorce and was having a hard time. She was afraid to tell me due to the past. I kind of understood that point but something didn't sit right. This continued and then I found out she was using Facebook to message him instead of the phone. I saw some messages about them missing each other. I confronted her again and she said she was unhappy in our marriage and needed space. I asked her about couns eling (I got her to go about 4 times 1.5 years ago but she did not want to participate) and she said she needs to figure out herself before working on us. I told her I was not moving out, that I need to be with the kids. Also, my counselor said this would not be good as did an attorney friend. I have asked if she wants a divorce and she cannot answer that. I had to travel for work about 1 week ago and she said when I got back we would talk. Not happened. She never talks about anything. Through all of this she continues to talk to this guy and no longer texts or calls me. She will talk to me if we are both home, but we work opposite shifts so do not see each other that much.
I read some texts to her friends a couple weeks ago and they were all saying I was being selfish and not doing what she wants, making it all about me. I have always done so much for her without expecting anything back. I did not ask for any of this. A few people told me that if she wants space she should leave and create her own space.
Part of me wants to give up, but I love her and our family and want to make this work. However, the feeling I get is she wants out but is not strong enough to go through with it.
About 3 years ago I discovered she was having an emotional type relationship with a guy from her work. I confronted her and she apologized and said it was harmless flirting that got out of hand. Problem was it did not seem to stop. This continued off and on for at least 2 years that I know of. Then in the beginning of this year I discovered a number on our phone bill that she was texting like crazy. I found out it was another guy and confronted her. At first she claimed it was a girl, but after I told her I called the number she said it was a guy from work going through a divorce and was having a hard time. She was afraid to tell me due to the past. I kind of understood that point but something didn't sit right. This continued and then I found out she was using Facebook to message him instead of the phone. I saw some messages about them missing each other. I confronted her again and she said she was unhappy in our marriage and needed space. I asked her about couns eling (I got her to go about 4 times 1.5 years ago but she did not want to participate) and she said she needs to figure out herself before working on us. I told her I was not moving out, that I need to be with the kids. Also, my counselor said this would not be good as did an attorney friend. I have asked if she wants a divorce and she cannot answer that. I had to travel for work about 1 week ago and she said when I got back we would talk. Not happened. She never talks about anything. Through all of this she continues to talk to this guy and no longer texts or calls me. She will talk to me if we are both home, but we work opposite shifts so do not see each other that much.
I read some texts to her friends a couple weeks ago and they were all saying I was being selfish and not doing what she wants, making it all about me. I have always done so much for her without expecting anything back. I did not ask for any of this. A few people told me that if she wants space she should leave and create her own space.
Part of me wants to give up, but I love her and our family and want to make this work. However, the feeling I get is she wants out but is not strong enough to go through with it.
Put the internet to work for you.
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