I am hoping someone can give me some advice as I am hurting quite a bit
I met a guy almost 2 years ago, and we became friends. Very good friends, best friends. We always kind of flirted with each other and probably started doing that a lot about 6 months ago
Eventually 3 weeks ago 13th March we went out one night and got drunk and ended up sleeping together. He stayed the whole weekend. Then he acted like it was a mistake and that he shouldn't have done it. When he said it was a mistake and he didn't want a relationship I believed him.
So I went ok, he doesn't want to continue and a few days later I told him I was going to go out that night with some other guy (a first meeting) . He didn't say much.
The next night we went out again dancing , and really I wasn't expecting anything to happen given wha t he had said about not wanting anything. But we did and it was even more passionate than before. He was all over me from the moment I saw him before we even left to go out . BUT I don't know if it was because I went out with someone else and he was jealous
Then a couple of nights later he rings me up and tells me how much he likes me, how awesome I am and that I am 98% of what he is looking for in a girlfriend (yeah thanks) He was going on about how amazing I am etc. He was telling me 'I like you so much I like you sooooo much, you are awesome, amazing, you are everything I am looking for ... It's almost there, maybe it is there? I don't know why you are not, its at 98% etc etc and then he was saying how hot I am (I'm not hot, just hot to him) and how he has probably never had such amazing sex. Without going into detail..
Then the next day he texts me that he has been talking to some other girl for a fe w months and that he wants to pursue a relationship with her and that our sex has to stop. . Stab to the heart. But that he still wants to be friends.
This guy isn't some random, we have been best friends, then slow burn , then recently got sexual. I can't even bear the thought of him being with someone else. Be friends?
So I told him how I felt. That I am hurt and that he shouldn't have slept with me if he had known he was meeting up with someone else during that time. I am not some random chick, he has told me many times how much he loves me and I am his best friend .
Just like he said the previous weekend he said now that the sex had to stop. But then when went out again we had sex, so he is not very sure about what he wants it seems
Then I texted that what I am supposed to be friends with you and your random girlfriend?? I said I don't even want to meet her, then he texted that I am 'crazy'
Crazy.? I have the advantage that having been platonic friends so long I know how he operates with women and he falls in love with them after 3 days of chatting online, and comes to me saying I am in love! I am in love! And then 2 days later he meets them and nothing happens. And next, and next.
We have been best friends for 2 years so we hit it off in all sorts of ways. I've helped him though dating girls, he has helped me as well. Then here i am, under his nose the whole time, we start hitting the town together, staying overnight and each other's house, and realise BOOM we shoudl have been doing this all along.
When he told me about this girl he said well you did the same thing, you went out with a guy last week so join the club! I just said well you told me you didn't want to sleep together anymore and I don't even want him. You are telling me you want this girl. Anyway I texted him that just telling him that he did the wrong thing, having this girl there all along, then sleeping with me and then telling me about her, and that I slept with him with my heart not just my body. My heart.
I am starting to think he made this girl up. There no evidence that she even exists. I have a small inkling he might be just paying me back for the guy I went out with.
Anyway about 3 days later (the 26th March) after he rejected me and upset me, he turned it around back in me by texting why can't you be happy? And I said well I was happy until you told me about this girl. Then he said he wants to be free (ie didn't want any girlfriend at all ) and that we both had a good time, and that we did what we both wanted (have sex).
He then spent the rest of the night saying again how awesome I am,how wonderful, how much he loves dancing with me and he asked me to go out Easter weekend. So I think he was trying to set me up for a FWB or something. I've done that before with someone else and won't be doing it again.
Anyway so this past Sunday he rings me again. He apologised for being aloof last week and the way he acted (around the time he told me about "the girl" who may or may not exist) and that it was because after he is intimate he doesn't know what to do because of his previous broken relationships. Like he is scared or something.
So we had a great conversation for a few hours. He was also REALLY REALLY excited about going out this weekend, saying how much he loves dancing with me etc, outfits we would wear etc. Just really excited.
He said to text him in a day or two and we will sort out which night (fri or sat). He was also turning the conversation sexual, indicating that he changed his mind about "stopping things". I know its not just that he is after as we have been good friends for two years and our friendship was based on other things, and was platonic until 13th march (apart from 2 months of text flirting before we had sex)
So I texted him this week but he just wouldn't reply except for one vague worded message on Tuesday night, and then since then no reply to anything. I tried calling, and no answer
It's caused a lot of grief, as I find the silent treatment extremely stressful and he is the first person to ever really do it to me.
I texted asking if I we were still going out this weekend and no reply.
He is a really big texter, he will think nothing of sending 20 texts in 10 seconds, all just two words each or something. Its unusual for a guy. So maybe i texted too much this week, but he is always getting dissed for sending too many texts to people so i dont think he can accuse me of that.
I guess that's it huh?
He has basically sent me one text on Tuesday night , saying one word and nothing since.
he was so all over me on sunday night during our phone conversation so i dont get it.
Just blanked me
I have texted him too much in the past few days asking whats wrong , but again, nothing compared to what he is like with texting, and i wasnt angry or anything, just concerned and confused.
About a month ago he gave me silent treatment for 5 days over something really dumb, but this time, i dont even know what the problem is.
The thing is if he wanted me to not contact him i would think he would say so, text me to stop contacting him, but i havent heard a thing.
I havent contacted him at all today, and decided just to wait now
Am i going to hear from him? And if he DOES, how should i handle it?
Honestly the silent treatment is absolute torture.
Put the internet to work for you.
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