Long story short, I got trashed on a cruise and cheated on my husband. I didn't tell him and wasn't going to but the guy texted me and that's how he found out. FYI he couldn't go on the cruise with me because he has to plan his vacation a year in advanced and my whole family was going but I decided to go last minute to be with my grandmother who I just found out has terminal breast cancer.
He asked a couple of questions:
"Why did you do it?" and "Why did you lie about it?" I tried my best to own my mistake because no matter what he has done in the past: it's wrong. However, I was honest in my responses. We've had a rough 18 months where he tried to divorce me 3 times. I've never felt so much physical/emotional pain in my life. Even though we've been working through things and they were getting better, it was a little bumpy the two weeks prior and then before we even sailed out he was at a nudey bar with his buddies (normally I wouldn't mind but there have been some sketchy incidences). I was drinking heavily and the subject of my marriage comes up and it snow balled... All the hurt came flooding back, I guess I figured he was doing the same thing (except paying for it) and just gave in. The OM was a few years younger and amazingly good looking...said all the right things...How can I be sooooo stupid?!? I didn't do it just once but twice with this guy!! I hate hate hate myself right now...
His other question about why I didn't tell him the truth when he asked and lied about it?! Uhhh we've been walking on egg shells why the heck would I want to stir up more trouble?! And no matter what he's done to me in the past, I wouldn't wish that pain and hurt on my worst enemy. If anything, it makes me even more of an arsehole because I know how it feels and what it does to the other person. I guess I feel like he is my family... no matter what he's done to me or I to him, we are always connected. There have been days where I can say I hated him, and there are things I will never trust him on but I can not imagine my life with out him. Through it all, I really do love him. How? Why? I'm not sure most days but I do.
I've been reading here, and researching on how to handle this situation and get our relationship back on track. I'm not trying to make up excuses or blame him for my epic mistake but try to explain that I wasn't trying to hurt him, or that I don't love him...I was just drunk, stupid, insecure, and lonely. It felt soooooooo good to be wanted! I knew this guy just wanted to get into my pants but he wasn't creepy about it. He was very affectionate in a sweet way. Affection is not something my husband does well unless sex is involved and this has been very hard for me to accept but trying.
Its said that one must be held accountable for their cheating before you can begin to make amends. How? I don't know what to say or where to begin.
He asked a couple of questions:
"Why did you do it?" and "Why did you lie about it?" I tried my best to own my mistake because no matter what he has done in the past: it's wrong. However, I was honest in my responses. We've had a rough 18 months where he tried to divorce me 3 times. I've never felt so much physical/emotional pain in my life. Even though we've been working through things and they were getting better, it was a little bumpy the two weeks prior and then before we even sailed out he was at a nudey bar with his buddies (normally I wouldn't mind but there have been some sketchy incidences). I was drinking heavily and the subject of my marriage comes up and it snow balled... All the hurt came flooding back, I guess I figured he was doing the same thing (except paying for it) and just gave in. The OM was a few years younger and amazingly good looking...said all the right things...How can I be sooooo stupid?!? I didn't do it just once but twice with this guy!! I hate hate hate myself right now...
His other question about why I didn't tell him the truth when he asked and lied about it?! Uhhh we've been walking on egg shells why the heck would I want to stir up more trouble?! And no matter what he's done to me in the past, I wouldn't wish that pain and hurt on my worst enemy. If anything, it makes me even more of an arsehole because I know how it feels and what it does to the other person. I guess I feel like he is my family... no matter what he's done to me or I to him, we are always connected. There have been days where I can say I hated him, and there are things I will never trust him on but I can not imagine my life with out him. Through it all, I really do love him. How? Why? I'm not sure most days but I do.
I've been reading here, and researching on how to handle this situation and get our relationship back on track. I'm not trying to make up excuses or blame him for my epic mistake but try to explain that I wasn't trying to hurt him, or that I don't love him...I was just drunk, stupid, insecure, and lonely. It felt soooooooo good to be wanted! I knew this guy just wanted to get into my pants but he wasn't creepy about it. He was very affectionate in a sweet way. Affection is not something my husband does well unless sex is involved and this has been very hard for me to accept but trying.
Its said that one must be held accountable for their cheating before you can begin to make amends. How? I don't know what to say or where to begin.
Put the internet to work for you.
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