Help!
Quick summary: I've gone to a half decent uni top 30 not Russell group which I worked really hard to get into (took two years out, took a teaching qual. And worked full time as well as taking extra a levels) now am on my dream course and am mostly loving it.
I'm moving into a flat with my boyfriend and friend in second year...my parents bought it and I'll and my bf and friend will pay rent- I will work outside of study and my parents will pick up the short fall. I am heading towards a 2:1 and my tutors say they expect a first from me...I'm doing pretty well :) But I've had to work through an eating disorder and depression as well as a condition similar to epilepsy to get here.
What I'm saying is that it hasn't come easily
My sister dropped out of sixth form twice after taking too many drugs-im not against the drugs per say just the way her intake has gotten bigger/more extreme. My parents paid a family friend and two other private tutors to teach her a levels and she just got; c, d and e. She got onto a teaching degree but didn't finish . She is now 27 and hasn't finished the degree and is still in over £12000 worth of debt even though my parents paid her fees and gave her a yearly allowance as well as paying for trains home and holidays ...mainly spent on drugs/clothes/partying...
She moved back home and is working for my dad not doing anything to do with her degree choice and is taking loads of drugs and going out all night raving (my parents are oblivious) and the only rent she 'pays' goes towards savings for her...which she uses as leverage in arguments a lot...
She treats my parents like crap her room actually smells she bad mouths my dad at work (I have a v good friend who works there and he and other people he works with have told me) she tells my parents they are alcoholics and are disgusting -they usually have 1 or 2 glasses of wine a night and fall asleep on the sofa because they are really tired working all day and running around after her.
She doesn't offer to cook or clean or help out. She only comes out of her room to wash/go out/cook and eat for herself.
She recently split with her vile boyfriend and I can't invite my boyfriend (who my parents love) over to the house because she says I'm rubbing it in her face.
What can I do to make things better at home? I'm dreading going back tomorrow and my parents are travelling for two weeks-they work abroad too, she is so patronising (telling me how to write essays-i taught gcse english last year and am taking an English degree) and just talks at me and is really patronising. Telling me how to talk to my boyfriend and friends and constantly telling my friends how badly I'm doing at uni and how I have no friends there-i told my mum at first how I don't like the cliqueyness but have found my feet now... Telling me how to cook, I don't go to the gym enough (she works three days a week so has bags of time!! I work 3 nights a week and all day Saturday as well as a full time degree!!!) I swim every Sunday and cycle everywhere I can and jog 3 times a week....
What can I do short of telling her to eff off? I have tried so hard to have a good relationship with her and my parents are deeply sad that we can't get on, saying she is just sad (she is usually coming down from an led high or from mandy...) I've tried telling them but they don't believe me what can I do short of inviting her to stay with me, inviting her on holidays, out with friends, to work out together when I am home, to meals, to the cinema...all of which she has turned down....
This makes me deeply sad because I hear from her colleagues that she is lovely at work and thrives there.
I really hope she changes her life and is turning things around and I want to be a part of it...but how? :(
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