I went away for 2 nites (away from my 3 year old son and Hubby) in January to a yoga retreat 2.5 hours from my house.
My hubby was not happy about it.
He ended up calling me up to complain that there was "junk" in my bathroom drawers and that they were a "mess" and he couldn't find a "medicine kit" for our son.
I called back, there was no injury, he was just "Looking" for a medicine kit (or so he said).
I think he was trying to ruin my vacation...I refused to let him and continued on w/my yoga retreat.
2 weeks ago he said he was skiing during a work day with some friends and would spend the nite. I said okay....then he said yesterday he was doing it again on Wednesday b/c "it's free" (I guess it's a free pass on April 1).
I just looked at him and said that I would make sure that I was going to go away as soon as I am healed (about to undergo meniscus surgery 5/1 and cannot do yoga for some time after that)....but that I had only gone away ONCE from our son and he does it every year (he goes away to the US Open in NY for 2 days 1 nite) and that I would start doing more of this..
He got MAD and said, ....what is this??? T*T FOR TAT??
I said YES and their should definitely be more T*T....(ha ha) and I was BOOKING one day and one nite of IT for our 2 week vacation in August (that's when he goes away towards the end)..
He said, "that's OUR vacation"...I told him that HE goes away every year during OUR vacation...and now I was going to start too.
Well he went off on a tirade....saying he was now going to KEEP TRACK of every time I went out with my friends (3 x a year)...every time I go to book club (a friend recently started one on a Saturday afternoon and when I mentioned it to him, he complained that we "go to his mothers at that time.."...I said I joined a book club before I had a kid and I would like to continue and I can't set the time...it's w/10 other women!!)
So I wanted the day to NOT GO like that anymore......and I took him aside and said that I could have handled things differently and didn't mean to antagonize him.
He calmed down.
It hasn't come up again, but the issue has still yet to be resolved.
How do I assert myself (and let him know that I'd like to take a day to go (he basically came out and said he doesn't want me to go away on a Saturday or a sunday as HE takes off a day from work to go on his vacations and would like me to do the same)) without having him "attack" me for, what I believe, is a simple request?
Bottom line? He doesn't like being the one to put our son to bed.
That has always been "my" job....
but I think I deserve an overnite alone too....as I have COME TO ACCEPT that he will never go away with just us (he won't leave our son with any family....)
My hubby was not happy about it.
He ended up calling me up to complain that there was "junk" in my bathroom drawers and that they were a "mess" and he couldn't find a "medicine kit" for our son.
I called back, there was no injury, he was just "Looking" for a medicine kit (or so he said).
I think he was trying to ruin my vacation...I refused to let him and continued on w/my yoga retreat.
2 weeks ago he said he was skiing during a work day with some friends and would spend the nite. I said okay....then he said yesterday he was doing it again on Wednesday b/c "it's free" (I guess it's a free pass on April 1).
I just looked at him and said that I would make sure that I was going to go away as soon as I am healed (about to undergo meniscus surgery 5/1 and cannot do yoga for some time after that)....but that I had only gone away ONCE from our son and he does it every year (he goes away to the US Open in NY for 2 days 1 nite) and that I would start doing more of this..
He got MAD and said, ....what is this??? T*T FOR TAT??
I said YES and their should definitely be more T*T....(ha ha) and I was BOOKING one day and one nite of IT for our 2 week vacation in August (that's when he goes away towards the end)..
He said, "that's OUR vacation"...I told him that HE goes away every year during OUR vacation...and now I was going to start too.
Well he went off on a tirade....saying he was now going to KEEP TRACK of every time I went out with my friends (3 x a year)...every time I go to book club (a friend recently started one on a Saturday afternoon and when I mentioned it to him, he complained that we "go to his mothers at that time.."...I said I joined a book club before I had a kid and I would like to continue and I can't set the time...it's w/10 other women!!)
So I wanted the day to NOT GO like that anymore......and I took him aside and said that I could have handled things differently and didn't mean to antagonize him.
He calmed down.
It hasn't come up again, but the issue has still yet to be resolved.
How do I assert myself (and let him know that I'd like to take a day to go (he basically came out and said he doesn't want me to go away on a Saturday or a sunday as HE takes off a day from work to go on his vacations and would like me to do the same)) without having him "attack" me for, what I believe, is a simple request?
Bottom line? He doesn't like being the one to put our son to bed.
That has always been "my" job....
but I think I deserve an overnite alone too....as I have COME TO ACCEPT that he will never go away with just us (he won't leave our son with any family....)
Put the internet to work for you.
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