Hello all
I'm new here and am hoping you can give me some insight.
Hubby and I have been together 22 years and we have 4 wonderful children. Needless to say we married young. We went from dating, to living together, to pregnant, to married. Now the kids are older and I find hubby and I just don't connect anymore.
We go for months at a time without sex, the longest we did without was 7 months and I'm hurt and frustrated because when sex happens, it's a wham bam kinda moment. There is no foreplay, no kissing (I love kissing), no connection - I feel like it's an obligation we have to fulfill.
I've tried lighting the spark but get shot down at every turn. I send texts and get little or no response, I flirt and it's ignored. I come right out and say I want sex and he says yes but it's dull, lifeless. It's not worth the effort. I rather do without than have the sexlife that we have.
I feel undesired, unwanted. I need and want the connection, the intimacy of being with him. He is the best man I know and I love him but I need more.
I talked to him about how I feel and at first he denied the issue, and then he made excuses. Then when that didn't work - he said he'd try harder.
I'm not a a horndog, this is about more then just sex - it's about having that connection with my husband. Without that connection - we might as well just be friends.
Nothings changed - I'm crushed. Outside the bedroom we are good. We laugh, we cuddle, we talk. But once in bed - nothing.
I'm scared my marriage is in trouble and heading for disaster and I don't know what else to do. Whatelse to say.
I'm new here and am hoping you can give me some insight.
Hubby and I have been together 22 years and we have 4 wonderful children. Needless to say we married young. We went from dating, to living together, to pregnant, to married. Now the kids are older and I find hubby and I just don't connect anymore.
We go for months at a time without sex, the longest we did without was 7 months and I'm hurt and frustrated because when sex happens, it's a wham bam kinda moment. There is no foreplay, no kissing (I love kissing), no connection - I feel like it's an obligation we have to fulfill.
I've tried lighting the spark but get shot down at every turn. I send texts and get little or no response, I flirt and it's ignored. I come right out and say I want sex and he says yes but it's dull, lifeless. It's not worth the effort. I rather do without than have the sexlife that we have.
I feel undesired, unwanted. I need and want the connection, the intimacy of being with him. He is the best man I know and I love him but I need more.
I talked to him about how I feel and at first he denied the issue, and then he made excuses. Then when that didn't work - he said he'd try harder.
I'm not a a horndog, this is about more then just sex - it's about having that connection with my husband. Without that connection - we might as well just be friends.
Nothings changed - I'm crushed. Outside the bedroom we are good. We laugh, we cuddle, we talk. But once in bed - nothing.
I'm scared my marriage is in trouble and heading for disaster and I don't know what else to do. Whatelse to say.
Put the internet to work for you.
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