My husband and I have been married 20+ years. We started out with a wonderful marriage, head over heals for each other and I couldnt see that I could ever have anything better.
After about 12 years, he began using drugs. Obviously that caused a lot of problems. He used on and off for many years and it caused many problems in our marriage which we are still dealing with. After about 10 or 12 years of this, I finally walked out. It was hard because any time I talked about separation he would threaten suicide, but I coudlnt live in this any longer, and I had no intentions of coming back.
While we were separated, I was involved with another man. I know this was a mistake because we werent divorced and I deeply regret it now. My H and I did end up getting back together (he was now clean and promised to stay that way) and I told him about the OM. He obviously was devastated but we decided to try and work through it.
It has been 3 years now, and he recently had an affair that lasted about 12 or so weeks. He has never gotten over me and the OM and I dont know if his affair was for revenge or due to his hurt and anger. He says he doesnt know why he did it. It has only been a couple of months since he ended the A.
We spent a lot of time talking thru this and are trying to R. I feel that I at least owe him a chance and we do still love each other.
Bottom line, we both cheated. Now we have so much hurt and anger between us. How do we get though this? Is there a chance our marriage can be saved? Maybe someone here has experience with this. Will his affair help him get past mine? I dont know what to think or where to go from here. Any advice would be appreciated.
After about 12 years, he began using drugs. Obviously that caused a lot of problems. He used on and off for many years and it caused many problems in our marriage which we are still dealing with. After about 10 or 12 years of this, I finally walked out. It was hard because any time I talked about separation he would threaten suicide, but I coudlnt live in this any longer, and I had no intentions of coming back.
While we were separated, I was involved with another man. I know this was a mistake because we werent divorced and I deeply regret it now. My H and I did end up getting back together (he was now clean and promised to stay that way) and I told him about the OM. He obviously was devastated but we decided to try and work through it.
It has been 3 years now, and he recently had an affair that lasted about 12 or so weeks. He has never gotten over me and the OM and I dont know if his affair was for revenge or due to his hurt and anger. He says he doesnt know why he did it. It has only been a couple of months since he ended the A.
We spent a lot of time talking thru this and are trying to R. I feel that I at least owe him a chance and we do still love each other.
Bottom line, we both cheated. Now we have so much hurt and anger between us. How do we get though this? Is there a chance our marriage can be saved? Maybe someone here has experience with this. Will his affair help him get past mine? I dont know what to think or where to go from here. Any advice would be appreciated.
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