Hey guys,
I've been talking to a guy online for quite a while, we get on like a house on fire. Similar humour, personality and hobbies. We added each other on Facebook and pretty much talk most nights. He lives in the same city as me so we have arranged to see each other on Saturday for the first time.
However, I'm extremely nervous. I'm not fake, I have plenty of photos on my Facebook, hell I even sent him a picture of me with no makeup on so he can see my horrifically dry skin (weird I know, don't ask :p) and he was never negative, he seems like a genuinely lovely guy, and I'm usually a good judge of character.
The problem is that I am very insecure. I have dated in the past, and I know it happens to a lot of people when they meet and they're just not compatible in person. I'm very negative about myself, I don't think I'm particularly good looking despite people protesting otherwise. I have battled with obesity in the past, I've lost about 3 stone, and I try to go gym as often as I can (life is pretty hectic with my studies at the moment). I always assume that guys dislike me because of my weight. I won't even hide it - I'm female, 24, and just under 15 stone (14 stone 10 when I checked a few weeks back) and I'm 6ft. My goal is to reach my maximum ideal weight (which is 13 stone), with the goal hopefully being 11 stone. Because I am tall, I can carry it quite well, my family have always been brutally honest with me, I was in denial that I was overweight despite them telling me for years, however now they don't even classify me as 'looking' fat anymore.
Okay, I'm kind of getting off topic here. As you can see, my weight is a big issue for me. My face, I can deal with to a certain degree. I do really like this guy and I'm just worried that we will meet and we will go from speaking every night to nothing.
I know most people will say 'if he's going to judge you then he isn't worth it', or something along those lines. But I know that if this happens it will tip me over the edge. I don't mean in the sense that I will overreact, but I have low self esteem as it is.
Any tips how I can overcome it? Obviously when two people start talking, I'm not going to outright say 'hey, if we ever do date, please note I am not skinny', and equally he hasn't stated any preferences. For the past week since we planned it, I've been telling myself I'm setting myself up for failure and that nothing good will come of it, and trying to sugar coat it by saying 'well at least that's one less distraction (being him) to deal with.'
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment