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My wifes family makes me wish i never married her

Im a lgbt military wife we have been married for 3 years and my family is accepting and welcomed my wife with open arms, but i did not really get to met and know her family until after we got married (which i now regret!!!!) because what i did not know was any argument or fight we had she would go talk s#it about me to them so they felt and still feel some type a way about me and its straining my marriage. Her mother has even told me that i deserve the abuse i have encountered by the hands of her child(my wife) mind you this is the same lady who does not approve of my marriage because she is christain yet she says nasty and down right evil things to me. Her siblings who i only met once we live in a different states have came at me crazy and also a friend of hers. I have been thinking about divorce because my family shows her love and enhance her life and i do not feel i get anything from her family nor her when she talk stuff about me to family then actin g all surprise when they have nasty things to say about me..

Side note:
I notice that she will come talk stuff about them and how they are not close and they never includ her in the family (because her being gay) however, then she goes to them and says the same exact thing about me to them

am i over reacting or should i give her an ultimatium?? How to i restore my character with her family when she constantly talks behind my back???

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