Looking for others who may have gone through the same thing as me .... or am I the lone idiot?
Background:
Married 22 years, now in final stages of divorce process. yeah
Since 2002 or thereabouts, there was little intimacy (no sex of any kind). Obviously during that period, I would ask my ex what was wrong. To be fair, I always attributed her withdrawal to the many family issues on her side. (Mother got cancer and then developed PArkinsons to name a few). I backed off ...continuing to be supportive, go to work, be with kids, etc.
About 10 years ago, the shock of my life came. While at dinner alone with my ex-wife, I insisted on finding out what was wrong with her.
Words still resonate to this very day. "I'm not in love with you anymore. In fact, I guess I was never in love with you ... like a wife should love a husband. I love you but more as a father figure".
Without going into with all the details.
For the next 10 years, I basically lived in this environment. I continued to work where I travel about 40% of the time, was always the good Dad, coached both kids in baseball and basketball until HS.
I figured if I gave her space....she would realize what she had...I am a good guy, good provider, good Dad...and we could repair the marriage.
To my disappointment, couples counselling was not option because she said "there was nothing to repair since it never existed".
So, 4 years ago, I began to "go out" .... not lying to my ex-wife.
3 years ago we hired lawyers to begin divorce proceedings.
I know this is water over the damn now....am I a chump for waiting so long.
Background:
Married 22 years, now in final stages of divorce process. yeah
Since 2002 or thereabouts, there was little intimacy (no sex of any kind). Obviously during that period, I would ask my ex what was wrong. To be fair, I always attributed her withdrawal to the many family issues on her side. (Mother got cancer and then developed PArkinsons to name a few). I backed off ...continuing to be supportive, go to work, be with kids, etc.
About 10 years ago, the shock of my life came. While at dinner alone with my ex-wife, I insisted on finding out what was wrong with her.
Words still resonate to this very day. "I'm not in love with you anymore. In fact, I guess I was never in love with you ... like a wife should love a husband. I love you but more as a father figure".
Without going into with all the details.
For the next 10 years, I basically lived in this environment. I continued to work where I travel about 40% of the time, was always the good Dad, coached both kids in baseball and basketball until HS.
I figured if I gave her space....she would realize what she had...I am a good guy, good provider, good Dad...and we could repair the marriage.
To my disappointment, couples counselling was not option because she said "there was nothing to repair since it never existed".
So, 4 years ago, I began to "go out" .... not lying to my ex-wife.
3 years ago we hired lawyers to begin divorce proceedings.
I know this is water over the damn now....am I a chump for waiting so long.
Put the internet to work for you.
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