Since I backed off & have given him space he's initiating a lot of talk about things in general and is much more friendly and open, not so much the future but about our current situation. Since doing the 180 he seems to have noticed that i'm moving forward and learning from the experience, I'm no longer a crying wreck & although I do cry when alone I show I'm strong and confident to him. I've also made clear that I know I will be ok without him & can find happiness but I would prefer that to be with him.
My Q is this... We work together so have regular contact, i try to keep this initiated by him (which is a lot!) and also see each other because of the kids. In the past week he's been asking to spend more time in the family home with us (sleeping on the sofa to get up in the AM with the kids meaning he spends time with me in the evening) and has asked can we go for a family meal as my daughter asked him (us & kids) and would I like to join them swimming next week as its good for the kids...
I'm so insure of how to handle it as I want to spend positive time to show him we are a good team & that its not all bad, remind him of the positives but I dont want him taking me for a mug either as right now he's sat on the fence and making no commitments for the future. We've both been working on communicating better (with help from counseling) and although he doesn't want to work on us as a relationship for the foreseeable he's happy to move forward with that side of things for the kids sake. We've both agreed for now we cant be together, lets just try to move ourselves forwards and not think too far into the future right now.
Do I agree to the time as a family or do I need to let him lie in the bed he's chosen? How does this fit with the 180? Any advice/input would be appreciated!
My Q is this... We work together so have regular contact, i try to keep this initiated by him (which is a lot!) and also see each other because of the kids. In the past week he's been asking to spend more time in the family home with us (sleeping on the sofa to get up in the AM with the kids meaning he spends time with me in the evening) and has asked can we go for a family meal as my daughter asked him (us & kids) and would I like to join them swimming next week as its good for the kids...
I'm so insure of how to handle it as I want to spend positive time to show him we are a good team & that its not all bad, remind him of the positives but I dont want him taking me for a mug either as right now he's sat on the fence and making no commitments for the future. We've both been working on communicating better (with help from counseling) and although he doesn't want to work on us as a relationship for the foreseeable he's happy to move forward with that side of things for the kids sake. We've both agreed for now we cant be together, lets just try to move ourselves forwards and not think too far into the future right now.
Do I agree to the time as a family or do I need to let him lie in the bed he's chosen? How does this fit with the 180? Any advice/input would be appreciated!
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