I ran across this and this sound like my husband, I will explain more at the end of the list:
1. The Narcissist uses narc supply like a drug. The attention, adulation, admiration is used to regular their unstable sense of self worth and self-esteem. The N needs time and again to illicit from sexual conquests....extramarital affairs supply them with their drug.
2. The maintain an island of stability in an ocean of chaos.They will have a stable job, long time career path but in their private life they maintain extramarital affairs and are pathological liars. Cheating on one's spouse is the N's way of destabilizing their lives while maintaining stability.
3. They're entitle to anything and everything. They are above the law. They resent all emotional limitations set on them. They act at their urges, drives and are unencumbered by marital commitment, social mores and social values.
3. Marriage and childbearing are what average people do. They hold these people in disdain and contempt. They regard their role as husband with resentment and they were coerced into maintaining commitment and feels a sense of N injury for having to maintain these roles while they see other living like rock stars engaging in free-for-alls not limited by rules. They rebel and assert their specialness by having affairs.
4. Control freaks. They can't stand give and take and can't stand compromising. N view compromise as losing control. They feel being married to one one means losing control and losing one's life. The N creates affairs to dictate the terms of engagement.
5. Terrified of intimacy. They are approach avoidant, hot an cold, attached and detached. Adultery is an excellent tool to prevent intimacy. It's a less threatening relationship because it is not permanent. It's not subject to rules or expectations. A love affair in the N's mind is less intimate thus they supply the N with coveted supply while not making demands on him.
Counselors have told me husband is Passive-aggressive and that is the reason for his lack of engaging but this all makes a connection for me. Our last couple's counselor explained to husband that his (once) porn addiction and his emotional affairs were wrongful towards me, hurt the marriage. That his lack of involvement in my life and his kids' lives has driven a wedge in the relationships. Counselor felt husband had destroyed his first marriage and not the other way around like husband wanted everyone to believe. Husband's response was that he had never intended to divorce me for any of the women, and he said he had never intended to hurt me but that he felt what he was doing was typical male behavior.
Feedback?
1. The Narcissist uses narc supply like a drug. The attention, adulation, admiration is used to regular their unstable sense of self worth and self-esteem. The N needs time and again to illicit from sexual conquests....extramarital affairs supply them with their drug.
2. The maintain an island of stability in an ocean of chaos.They will have a stable job, long time career path but in their private life they maintain extramarital affairs and are pathological liars. Cheating on one's spouse is the N's way of destabilizing their lives while maintaining stability.
3. They're entitle to anything and everything. They are above the law. They resent all emotional limitations set on them. They act at their urges, drives and are unencumbered by marital commitment, social mores and social values.
3. Marriage and childbearing are what average people do. They hold these people in disdain and contempt. They regard their role as husband with resentment and they were coerced into maintaining commitment and feels a sense of N injury for having to maintain these roles while they see other living like rock stars engaging in free-for-alls not limited by rules. They rebel and assert their specialness by having affairs.
4. Control freaks. They can't stand give and take and can't stand compromising. N view compromise as losing control. They feel being married to one one means losing control and losing one's life. The N creates affairs to dictate the terms of engagement.
5. Terrified of intimacy. They are approach avoidant, hot an cold, attached and detached. Adultery is an excellent tool to prevent intimacy. It's a less threatening relationship because it is not permanent. It's not subject to rules or expectations. A love affair in the N's mind is less intimate thus they supply the N with coveted supply while not making demands on him.
Counselors have told me husband is Passive-aggressive and that is the reason for his lack of engaging but this all makes a connection for me. Our last couple's counselor explained to husband that his (once) porn addiction and his emotional affairs were wrongful towards me, hurt the marriage. That his lack of involvement in my life and his kids' lives has driven a wedge in the relationships. Counselor felt husband had destroyed his first marriage and not the other way around like husband wanted everyone to believe. Husband's response was that he had never intended to divorce me for any of the women, and he said he had never intended to hurt me but that he felt what he was doing was typical male behavior.
Feedback?
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