Hi. First post-I'm so glad I found this place.
My wife and I have been married for 18 years. She was married before and admitted cheating on her husband with two different men while he was away at sea; she was a Navy wife. When we were dating, she admitted this and expressed regret. She began to attend church with me and had a spiritual experience, saying that she was sorry of the life she once led. We were engaged for about a year and then we married. Yeah, I know...I knew all of these things going in but I truly believed that she had changed. She is the only woman I've been with and I'll admit to being naive.
Things seemed to be going fine. We moved to another state, got good jobs etc. and started our life together. Then we started with Classmates and eventually got onto Facebook. Then things started to change.
About five years ago, she left open her chat box without logging off of Facebook. She found one of her old lovers. They were talking dirty and she even sent a pic of herself to him (sent one to me also) of her in a sexy outfit....no lingerie but a school-girl type outfit. I confronted her that evening. She began to cry and make excuses about how I was wrapped up with work and hard to approach and how he paid attention to her....He's married, too. I told her that if she loves him that she's free to go break up his marriage and be with him but our child stays with me. So she ended up deleting her FB page for a while and then reactivated it later.
About two months ago, I found that another old lover (the other lover) and her had been talking on the phone and chatting. In her defense, it seemed innocent but he was calling her sexy etc. I found these texts and called him on the phone. It was funny to see how nervous he got but I told him to leave her alone. She got angry with me, saying that they were just old friends and if I knew him I'd know that he is just that way with everyone-saying what he wants. Then she blasted me for being hard to get along with and being not trusting enough of her and that I was holding that previous chat issue (from five years ago) against her-trying to make me feel like the bad guy. Our argument cooled down and she texted him back saying that he can't chat sexy with her anymore or they will break contact.
This whole thing takes away my attraction to her. I still love her but I don't trust her anymore, making me wonder if I'm still IN love with her. I don't feel like I deserve any of this as I've been nothing but faithful to her and tried to make her as happy as possible.
Sorry for the long post but it's a detailed story.
Any advice on how to handle this?:scratchhead:
My wife and I have been married for 18 years. She was married before and admitted cheating on her husband with two different men while he was away at sea; she was a Navy wife. When we were dating, she admitted this and expressed regret. She began to attend church with me and had a spiritual experience, saying that she was sorry of the life she once led. We were engaged for about a year and then we married. Yeah, I know...I knew all of these things going in but I truly believed that she had changed. She is the only woman I've been with and I'll admit to being naive.
Things seemed to be going fine. We moved to another state, got good jobs etc. and started our life together. Then we started with Classmates and eventually got onto Facebook. Then things started to change.
About five years ago, she left open her chat box without logging off of Facebook. She found one of her old lovers. They were talking dirty and she even sent a pic of herself to him (sent one to me also) of her in a sexy outfit....no lingerie but a school-girl type outfit. I confronted her that evening. She began to cry and make excuses about how I was wrapped up with work and hard to approach and how he paid attention to her....He's married, too. I told her that if she loves him that she's free to go break up his marriage and be with him but our child stays with me. So she ended up deleting her FB page for a while and then reactivated it later.
About two months ago, I found that another old lover (the other lover) and her had been talking on the phone and chatting. In her defense, it seemed innocent but he was calling her sexy etc. I found these texts and called him on the phone. It was funny to see how nervous he got but I told him to leave her alone. She got angry with me, saying that they were just old friends and if I knew him I'd know that he is just that way with everyone-saying what he wants. Then she blasted me for being hard to get along with and being not trusting enough of her and that I was holding that previous chat issue (from five years ago) against her-trying to make me feel like the bad guy. Our argument cooled down and she texted him back saying that he can't chat sexy with her anymore or they will break contact.
This whole thing takes away my attraction to her. I still love her but I don't trust her anymore, making me wonder if I'm still IN love with her. I don't feel like I deserve any of this as I've been nothing but faithful to her and tried to make her as happy as possible.
Sorry for the long post but it's a detailed story.
Any advice on how to handle this?:scratchhead:
Put the internet to work for you.
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