My husband and I have been married for 16 years. We went thru a very long period where he was just not interested in sex. I joined a gym, lost 15 pounds and got in the most amazing shape of my life in the hopes that he would find interest in me again but nothing really changed. The rejection took a big toll on my self esteem. At one point, we went 6 months without sex and I eventually kind of gave up because since he didn't really want to and I was the instigator all the time, it just kind of ruined it for me. I wanted to feel desired. Anyway, I'd been friends with my son's coach for a couple of years and we texted occasionally, never anything inappropriate but we'd become friends. We didn't go out or meet ever but would see each other at games and sometimes we would text each other just random things. And one night when my husband was away for a week on a guys trip, we had been texting as usual but I got totally out of line and told him I wanted to sleep with him. He told me he thought I was a total hottie but that he could never come between a marriage or break up a family but that had I not been married, he would have loved to have been with me. In any case, as the months went on...we continued to text and it would always start just as friends but one of us would end up turning the conversation inappropriate and over the course of an entire year, we sexted on and off. No pictures but just words. I know it was wrong and terrible, but even just talking about it with a man made me feel like a woman again. I felt desired and sexual and it was so wonderful for me. My husband caught on that something was up and we almost divorced over it. But the thing is, we are really happy now. He doesn't know the extent of the things I said to him and he doesn't know who it was. So, no, I haven't been completely honest with him and I never will be on this matter. He would divorce me and that would be it. Over the course o f a year, we repaired our marriage, brought the spark and the love back and I think we are happier than ever. We had a very happy first 15 years and I can't really understand what happened in that 16th year but I do know that we got thru it and we still love each other and in a lot of ways we are happier than before. I'm sorry for looking for comfort outside of the marriage but I felt almost desperate and even talking to another man about touching me made me almost want to cry. So, I'm sure I'll get blasted and people will say how horrible I am but I dont' think everyone knows how hard it is to be sexually refused for a long period of time by your husband. I think some people on this site are too judgemental and dont' try to see both sides.
Put the internet to work for you.
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