I come to TAM after spending months crying till my eye wells have gone dry, prayed till my knees are worn and hoped till my heart can't bear much more.
I have been married before and have two kids from previous marriage. I have full custody of the children. After a very brief courtship, I married my now enstranged wife. She really was unlike any other woman I had known. I wrote in my journal that this truly was the happiest moment of my life. She was great.
She became pregnant about two months into the marriage and we were all very excited. She's 31 and I'm 32. Then things started to change. She became more negative and just plain cranky. She also became more emotional. In hindsight I really should have done a better job being emotionally present for her. I worked hard so that she could be the full time mom she said she wanted to be. Again, I think we both underestimated the pressures this new environment would place on her. I should not have placed so much on her table so soon.
Anyways, about two months ago, she had to travel to get her immigration stuff sorted out in USA. We live in the UK. Two weeks into her stay in the US, she tells me she is done with the marriage, she will not be coming back and will be seeking a divorce - that I lied to her about who I was, I had mistreated and neglected her needs. Amazingly, she also accused me of carrying out inappropriate communication with other women and sexually forcing myself on her. These last two literally broke me to pieces. They were simply not true. Heaven and I know I could have been a better partner, I could have been more affectionate and patient. I also know we had great times. She's written emails thanking me for being supportive and strong, for being a good dad and working hard to provide for our family.
I begged and begged. I admitted to everything I was charged with - whether tru or not. I cried and begged some more asking if we could go to counselling. She said it was too late as she had earlier sought for this and I refused. I was not to contact any of her family or friends. I had earlier reached out to her dad and her good girlfriend. Doing the former was totally pointless and the latter resulted in me being accused of flirting with her girlfirend. None of them have since reached out to help. A solid wall of protection has been built around her and I have heard nothing. Communication is limited to emails only now. She will not communicate with anyone from my side who came to love her so much. Even the kids miss her so much but she's turned down requests to talk with them.
She has since not filed for divorce nor talked about it since first raised by her two months ago. Just a few days ago she emailed saying she is begging me to give her "time and space". I am not sure what to read into this.
I love and miss this girl so much. I also want us to raise our unborn daughter together but I feel entirely hopeless now. Though challenging, I certainly expected that it would take longer than 6months for us to blend our lives together. Surely we could have given this more time! I just don't get this. How do you fall out of love with someone so quickly and finally?
My questions are as follows:
1, How much of this turnaround could be down to hormones during pregnancy?
2, If she wanted to get divorced, wouldn't she have done so by now?
3, Wha are your thoughts about she needing time and space?
Any helpful input will be much appreciated.
I have been married before and have two kids from previous marriage. I have full custody of the children. After a very brief courtship, I married my now enstranged wife. She really was unlike any other woman I had known. I wrote in my journal that this truly was the happiest moment of my life. She was great.
She became pregnant about two months into the marriage and we were all very excited. She's 31 and I'm 32. Then things started to change. She became more negative and just plain cranky. She also became more emotional. In hindsight I really should have done a better job being emotionally present for her. I worked hard so that she could be the full time mom she said she wanted to be. Again, I think we both underestimated the pressures this new environment would place on her. I should not have placed so much on her table so soon.
Anyways, about two months ago, she had to travel to get her immigration stuff sorted out in USA. We live in the UK. Two weeks into her stay in the US, she tells me she is done with the marriage, she will not be coming back and will be seeking a divorce - that I lied to her about who I was, I had mistreated and neglected her needs. Amazingly, she also accused me of carrying out inappropriate communication with other women and sexually forcing myself on her. These last two literally broke me to pieces. They were simply not true. Heaven and I know I could have been a better partner, I could have been more affectionate and patient. I also know we had great times. She's written emails thanking me for being supportive and strong, for being a good dad and working hard to provide for our family.
I begged and begged. I admitted to everything I was charged with - whether tru or not. I cried and begged some more asking if we could go to counselling. She said it was too late as she had earlier sought for this and I refused. I was not to contact any of her family or friends. I had earlier reached out to her dad and her good girlfriend. Doing the former was totally pointless and the latter resulted in me being accused of flirting with her girlfirend. None of them have since reached out to help. A solid wall of protection has been built around her and I have heard nothing. Communication is limited to emails only now. She will not communicate with anyone from my side who came to love her so much. Even the kids miss her so much but she's turned down requests to talk with them.
She has since not filed for divorce nor talked about it since first raised by her two months ago. Just a few days ago she emailed saying she is begging me to give her "time and space". I am not sure what to read into this.
I love and miss this girl so much. I also want us to raise our unborn daughter together but I feel entirely hopeless now. Though challenging, I certainly expected that it would take longer than 6months for us to blend our lives together. Surely we could have given this more time! I just don't get this. How do you fall out of love with someone so quickly and finally?
My questions are as follows:
1, How much of this turnaround could be down to hormones during pregnancy?
2, If she wanted to get divorced, wouldn't she have done so by now?
3, Wha are your thoughts about she needing time and space?
Any helpful input will be much appreciated.
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