Earlier I posted a thread which I deleted because it had a lot of hurtful details ...
In summary married for 17 years which was assumed to be a failing marriage with an affair attempt from my Side .
I got a lot of feedback ; thanks to all; some where encouraging ; but majority described my situation as hopeless... (Dof was very frank )
Briefly when there is no Chemistry between two couples ; they either split or one has to change ...
Recently I discovered how the spark can be triggered again ...and we are in love again , with passion ; we are regretting every single moment we wasted ....
The path started when blame vanished and started thinking about how to treat the cancer of the soul rather than keep on asking why it happened.
I had a long long talk , in a romantic place with my wife ; and described to her how much I am hurt from her acts ; how hurtful it is that we don't even have a picture together since years , etc ...
and how miserable our life is ;
For the first time in more than 15 years; her hug was so different ; we cried for an hour; then we raised the question :
-Are we together just because of the kids ? we love them a lot .
we took the most courageous decision and decided that we should ask ourselves if want to live together ; not only for the kids .
-the question changed to : do we want to live together ?
We decided to stay together ;we redefined the red alerts and amazing how we look into things now differently ; I miss her daily many times ; if one is tired the other one will fight the kids to get away...
kids are jealous now and nagging ... my girls are jealous from my wife! : we are going out a lot lately , they feel neglected :)
and the master Bedroom door is closed a lot ; new rules exists :
knocking is a must ,there is a big sign on the door " We charge 1$ for every silly Question, and pay 5$ for genuine ones " :)
I sat with my kids and explained to them that it is our turn now :).
I am sure now that things are different ; we will never go through a major fall again ...we could disagree or fight ; but the resolution is always there ; because :
we care and discovered that life is not worth living unhappy.
I am posting my story to be helpfull to every couple who reach a dead end ; mine was a mess; my advise to them :
if you are sure that your partner care ; and has a good base / ethics ; never let him/her go ; it took me more than 10 years !
but now I am so happy ...
have all a Good day :)
-
In summary married for 17 years which was assumed to be a failing marriage with an affair attempt from my Side .
I got a lot of feedback ; thanks to all; some where encouraging ; but majority described my situation as hopeless... (Dof was very frank )
Briefly when there is no Chemistry between two couples ; they either split or one has to change ...
Recently I discovered how the spark can be triggered again ...and we are in love again , with passion ; we are regretting every single moment we wasted ....
The path started when blame vanished and started thinking about how to treat the cancer of the soul rather than keep on asking why it happened.
I had a long long talk , in a romantic place with my wife ; and described to her how much I am hurt from her acts ; how hurtful it is that we don't even have a picture together since years , etc ...
and how miserable our life is ;
For the first time in more than 15 years; her hug was so different ; we cried for an hour; then we raised the question :
-Are we together just because of the kids ? we love them a lot .
we took the most courageous decision and decided that we should ask ourselves if want to live together ; not only for the kids .
-the question changed to : do we want to live together ?
We decided to stay together ;we redefined the red alerts and amazing how we look into things now differently ; I miss her daily many times ; if one is tired the other one will fight the kids to get away...
kids are jealous now and nagging ... my girls are jealous from my wife! : we are going out a lot lately , they feel neglected :)
and the master Bedroom door is closed a lot ; new rules exists :
knocking is a must ,there is a big sign on the door " We charge 1$ for every silly Question, and pay 5$ for genuine ones " :)
I sat with my kids and explained to them that it is our turn now :).
I am sure now that things are different ; we will never go through a major fall again ...we could disagree or fight ; but the resolution is always there ; because :
we care and discovered that life is not worth living unhappy.
I am posting my story to be helpfull to every couple who reach a dead end ; mine was a mess; my advise to them :
if you are sure that your partner care ; and has a good base / ethics ; never let him/her go ; it took me more than 10 years !
but now I am so happy ...
have all a Good day :)
-
Put the internet to work for you.
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