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| By EI I will readily admit that my affair came first and the fog came as a result of my A, not the other way around I don't blame my affair on any mysterious "fog." I chose to have an affair |
The above posts by EI points out a very important fact that can be very useful to those that have not yet had an affair.
Your free will choices before the affair are critical! A person usually starts out feeling abused or neglected by their spouse before infidelity; in fact you may be abused or neglected. Then thinking about how you are going to handle your situation you start having thoughts or maybe graduating to plans of action that lead you to a road of infidelity.
When those thoughts first come up that is when you need to use your free will choices to squash those thoughts immediately. Change those thoughts, actions, and plans to ones that will get a solution that does not involve infidelity in any way. Maybe there is a solution that brings you and your spouse back to an acceptable level or maybe separation or divorce is an answer. One thing is for sure and that is that infidelity will hurt you and your family for a very long time and in some case permanently.
The focus and free will choices on your thoughts and actions when you are strained in your marriage will be so much more effective and advantageous than anything after fidelity. We can talk about fog and R after infidelity but that is just damage control.
This TAM forum is very informative about after infidelity but preventive maintenance before the disaster is more important for those that have not committed infidelity.
To help you with your free will choices you can give great importance to your logic, common sense, and morals and values. These are very strong tools that can help you a lot!
So this thread is mostly for those that have not committed infidelity
You can focus on preventive maintenance before infidelity or you can ignore the preventative maintenance and have a strong chance that you will wind up in infidelity. After infidelity you will have to try and deal with the "FOG" and all the crying and damage that infidelity brings to the couple and other family members.
If you do not want to use your free will choices to avoid infidelity then read some of the threads on the CWI forum. If that does not jolt you then you maybe a masochist. IT IS YOUR FREE WILL CHOICE!
How are some of the ways that you keep from infidelity?
Put the internet to work for you.
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