Hi everyone, I was having a hard time posting so i hope i did not post this twice...
I am getting married to my boyfriend of five years in July. I am 24, he is 30. We are generally happy, and have two baby boys 13 months apart, one born three weeks ago.
A couple of years ago i went through his deleted history and found some dating sites and history of him looking up hookers in our area. On some of the dating sites he had made an anonymous profile, but didnt pay for the full sites. From what i saw, and i dug pretty deep, he didnt talk to any women. He would send the nudges or automated messages to get a response, but never replied. When i asked him he said he never actually talked to anyone, or contacted any prostitutes. He said it added more to the imagination for him. While i didnt consider this cheating, it crossed a line for me and he said he wouldnt initiate contact with anyone again. When i looked through his profile there was a 'looking for' section where he checked off things like discreet relationship, one on one sex, lesbians, erotic chat. These sites were not like match.com; they were basically hook up sites with porno pictures. I felt that specifying discreet relationship and erotic chat was fishy, but he said it was just to illicit those type of responses.
I decided to believe him and things have been great, but i havent invaded his privacy again, until today. I see he deleted everything to the point that i could not recover, which is ok, he si entitled to his privacy and i feel guilty for even looking, i just dont want him interracting with others. In 'real life' he is an awesome partner. He is pretty shy.
While i don't think he would physically cheat, i don't want to marry someone who i will later find is emotionally cheating by interracting with women online, and get a divorce. Was i naive to forgive him? Is it likely that he was talking with women even though i found no evidence of it, or was he just looking at porn basically?
I am getting married to my boyfriend of five years in July. I am 24, he is 30. We are generally happy, and have two baby boys 13 months apart, one born three weeks ago.
A couple of years ago i went through his deleted history and found some dating sites and history of him looking up hookers in our area. On some of the dating sites he had made an anonymous profile, but didnt pay for the full sites. From what i saw, and i dug pretty deep, he didnt talk to any women. He would send the nudges or automated messages to get a response, but never replied. When i asked him he said he never actually talked to anyone, or contacted any prostitutes. He said it added more to the imagination for him. While i didnt consider this cheating, it crossed a line for me and he said he wouldnt initiate contact with anyone again. When i looked through his profile there was a 'looking for' section where he checked off things like discreet relationship, one on one sex, lesbians, erotic chat. These sites were not like match.com; they were basically hook up sites with porno pictures. I felt that specifying discreet relationship and erotic chat was fishy, but he said it was just to illicit those type of responses.
I decided to believe him and things have been great, but i havent invaded his privacy again, until today. I see he deleted everything to the point that i could not recover, which is ok, he si entitled to his privacy and i feel guilty for even looking, i just dont want him interracting with others. In 'real life' he is an awesome partner. He is pretty shy.
While i don't think he would physically cheat, i don't want to marry someone who i will later find is emotionally cheating by interracting with women online, and get a divorce. Was i naive to forgive him? Is it likely that he was talking with women even though i found no evidence of it, or was he just looking at porn basically?
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