I have always believed that marriage is the most beautiful commitment among Human .
Now watching the whole thing collapse again and again is changing my perception about life .
I am 43 wife is 37, married for 16 years ;3 lovely kids , great jobs ,well paid ...
our problems started during the first couple of years and we reached now a point were we disagree about every single thing we talk about ; the obly good thing is that we never yell at each other especially in front of kids .
The most ugly part is that cancer has found a place in our soul ; we don't even talk tgo each other.
What I would like to know from this thread is how far
Am I wrong .
-Wife is a great mom , social to everybody else; claim that she loves me .over the years Wife has proven through acts that she will never sacrifice anything of her needs; but what is worse is that she will never try to fulfill my needs.
-I changed a lot over the years to fit her demands (for ex : never argue about financial issues/spending ,avoid what could upset her , etc...; she never moved an inch, she is the same block.
-Me : used to be an ambitious person ; sincere,happy..
now : after 16 years of abuse ;including sex deprivation from time to time ; I am loosing faith in everything ; becoming a cheater ;( tried to cheat on her six month back with an Ex , but couldn't doit : escaped ! )
sometimes I am becoming angry from inside , especially when deprived sexually to an extent that if I meet a W--re on the road I would take her home and fu--- in front of my wife ; thanks god It didn't happen yet :)
Being an HD and My wife is LD was the biggest problem; She never say it but she looks always at me as a sex maniac .
Recently I filled with her a questionaire about marriage issues ( The 10 needs from " His Needs her Needs" - Thanks to ELEGirl);
She kept critisizing the questions as if those questions harms her picture of mother tereze..)
When I pushed her a lot about the importance of my needs :
she replied seriously that I can go to any other women provided that I don't cause harm to her and Family !
she is also unable to set goals for the frequency of love, affection , etc...
she claims that those things are spontaneous( which means something like couple of times per month ).
I take medecines for my gland and other things that as a side effect boosts my desire and libido .
My needs are simple :
-2-3 times sex per week .
-from time to time fettish or seduction acts ( normal things , like she would dance with me with nice lingery or do normal things).
- I never dare to ask for oral/bJs because in the few times I insisted ; I looked like that sex maniac again and they were done so wrong ....
Recently after arguing with her in a nice way that we should have more time together instead of seeing her p[laying candy crush ; she mentioned smthing like she will not do except the norm ( which is for her laying on the bed on her back like a rock..).
I was upset and told her I will not sleep with her ever anymore except if she put all her makeup , dress nice lingerie and initiate it ).
Am I wrong ?
Now I am punishing myself !
for her she doesn't even care .
The way she resolve all conflicts is by letting time heals them ...!
the maximum move she would take is just petting on my shoulder or touching my hand .
I need opinions ; I am lost .
Now watching the whole thing collapse again and again is changing my perception about life .
I am 43 wife is 37, married for 16 years ;3 lovely kids , great jobs ,well paid ...
our problems started during the first couple of years and we reached now a point were we disagree about every single thing we talk about ; the obly good thing is that we never yell at each other especially in front of kids .
The most ugly part is that cancer has found a place in our soul ; we don't even talk tgo each other.
What I would like to know from this thread is how far
Am I wrong .
-Wife is a great mom , social to everybody else; claim that she loves me .over the years Wife has proven through acts that she will never sacrifice anything of her needs; but what is worse is that she will never try to fulfill my needs.
-I changed a lot over the years to fit her demands (for ex : never argue about financial issues/spending ,avoid what could upset her , etc...; she never moved an inch, she is the same block.
-Me : used to be an ambitious person ; sincere,happy..
now : after 16 years of abuse ;including sex deprivation from time to time ; I am loosing faith in everything ; becoming a cheater ;( tried to cheat on her six month back with an Ex , but couldn't doit : escaped ! )
sometimes I am becoming angry from inside , especially when deprived sexually to an extent that if I meet a W--re on the road I would take her home and fu--- in front of my wife ; thanks god It didn't happen yet :)
Being an HD and My wife is LD was the biggest problem; She never say it but she looks always at me as a sex maniac .
Recently I filled with her a questionaire about marriage issues ( The 10 needs from " His Needs her Needs" - Thanks to ELEGirl);
She kept critisizing the questions as if those questions harms her picture of mother tereze..)
When I pushed her a lot about the importance of my needs :
she replied seriously that I can go to any other women provided that I don't cause harm to her and Family !
she is also unable to set goals for the frequency of love, affection , etc...
she claims that those things are spontaneous( which means something like couple of times per month ).
I take medecines for my gland and other things that as a side effect boosts my desire and libido .
My needs are simple :
-2-3 times sex per week .
-from time to time fettish or seduction acts ( normal things , like she would dance with me with nice lingery or do normal things).
- I never dare to ask for oral/bJs because in the few times I insisted ; I looked like that sex maniac again and they were done so wrong ....
Recently after arguing with her in a nice way that we should have more time together instead of seeing her p[laying candy crush ; she mentioned smthing like she will not do except the norm ( which is for her laying on the bed on her back like a rock..).
I was upset and told her I will not sleep with her ever anymore except if she put all her makeup , dress nice lingerie and initiate it ).
Am I wrong ?
Now I am punishing myself !
for her she doesn't even care .
The way she resolve all conflicts is by letting time heals them ...!
the maximum move she would take is just petting on my shoulder or touching my hand .
I need opinions ; I am lost .
Put the internet to work for you.
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