Hi I hope I communicate my question well and I am looking for input from both men and women. So please feel free to input.
Early on in my marriage (after I became a christian) i fully believed in the wifely submission arrangement in marriage. I was happy to be submissive. I did not make any decisions without my husband's permission. I would ask his permission to visit a girl friend or visit my parent's. I never raised my voice at my husband (maybe in an argument but I'm not a yeller). I did not call him names or argue with him in front of the children.
Fast forward all the years we have been married (over 15). My husband is a yeller and a name caller. (we have dealt with this and he hasnt behaved as bad lately). I made excuses for his behavior. He is tired (he is a hard worker and put in many 16 hour days) He is not naturally a person who apologizes, so he never said sorry for his behavior (rugswepped) but again things are better today.
I stopped being as submissive. I express myself more these days (i felt i was being walked on). I do not ask his permission to go to visit parents or girlfriends. I inform him of my plans and what time I will be home. I loathe the word submission today. It make me want to vomit. I think I gave him my submissive side and he walked all over me.
Currently we are both working on some issues and making the necessary changes needed in our marriage. He wants me to be submissive again, like I was before. He feels this is destroying our marriage. He also wants me to be submissive with my body, giving him access to do whatever he pleases, oral, anal, toys, for me to just trust him and let him lead.
Help, I want my marriage to be strong, and I want to be a godly woman and I want to be free sexually with him, but that word and the concept of submission makes me ill.
Men and women of TAM please give me some insight
Early on in my marriage (after I became a christian) i fully believed in the wifely submission arrangement in marriage. I was happy to be submissive. I did not make any decisions without my husband's permission. I would ask his permission to visit a girl friend or visit my parent's. I never raised my voice at my husband (maybe in an argument but I'm not a yeller). I did not call him names or argue with him in front of the children.
Fast forward all the years we have been married (over 15). My husband is a yeller and a name caller. (we have dealt with this and he hasnt behaved as bad lately). I made excuses for his behavior. He is tired (he is a hard worker and put in many 16 hour days) He is not naturally a person who apologizes, so he never said sorry for his behavior (rugswepped) but again things are better today.
I stopped being as submissive. I express myself more these days (i felt i was being walked on). I do not ask his permission to go to visit parents or girlfriends. I inform him of my plans and what time I will be home. I loathe the word submission today. It make me want to vomit. I think I gave him my submissive side and he walked all over me.
Currently we are both working on some issues and making the necessary changes needed in our marriage. He wants me to be submissive again, like I was before. He feels this is destroying our marriage. He also wants me to be submissive with my body, giving him access to do whatever he pleases, oral, anal, toys, for me to just trust him and let him lead.
Help, I want my marriage to be strong, and I want to be a godly woman and I want to be free sexually with him, but that word and the concept of submission makes me ill.
Men and women of TAM please give me some insight
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