I was very much in love with my girlfriend. We broke up a few weeks ago and I had just about forgotten about her, like really forgotten about her.
I had rebound sex quickly after the breakup with an ex fwb. That was nice and everything and it kept my mind away from my ex gf for a while. That was a few weeks ago, shortly after the breakup.
Recently, I thought seeing an escort (an upmarket prostitute) would make me feel better about it all, you know, if i just had a really seedy "pornstar experience" session of sex that I thought I would enjoy. I was still feeling terrible, and since our lives were basically revolved around each other... now i was really alone.
I thought it would be a good experience, but the reality was, even though the girl looked like a pornstar the real thing was something I really did not enjoy. I was not attracted to the girl really, I did not like her mannerisms or the sex. I did not like the way she kissed, the way the touching went, it just felt so dirty (in the bad way). She was nothing compared to my ex and I just feel disgusted at myself over it. I went home and I threw away my clothing I wore in the session, I had a long shower and to be honest I just feel like I had done the totally wrong thing in an attempt to get over my ex. I just
I have gone from not really thinking about my ex as much anymore to realising that I am just going to find it very difficult to find someone with the same connection both mentally and physically. She really did deserve that pedestal. She had her own problems, but she really was the love of my life.
Just for the sake of detail, we broke up because we are both damaged goods with broken families. It would never have worked out. She had borderline personality disorder whilst I evidently have my own ****ed up problems. It was crazily good and crazily bad, in the end, crazily bad became more and more frequent.
Put the internet to work for you.
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