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confused and feeling guilty

I've been married for 20 years and have 2 children ages 12 and 16 and the children are the center of my universe. After our first year of marriage I wanted out but stayed because I thought is was just cold feet. We then went on to do the expected things like children, house, etc.. and things were good. She was a stay at home mom for most 12 of these 20 years and has recently gone back to work part time. For the past 5 years I've progressively fallen out of love with her and don't feel any connection at all. I travel frequently and meet lots of interesting people and realize that there is a larger world out there. I'm at the point where I'm done with the relationship, but I have so much guilt because I feel responsible for her well being and I'm very concerned about the impact on my children. She is on medication for anger issues and her mom was bi-polar so I'm concerned that my approaching her with the news that I'm ready to move on will be devastating an d will cause her to go into a really bad place. I don't know that she will be able to handle being alone. I fully plan on staying in my children's life and I fully intend on supporting them financially. I don't know if I should speak with a counselor or attorney. I have no confidants, so I can't even discuss things with anyone. Any advice would be appreciated.

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