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trouble with husband

I have been at a loss for ways to get through to him about certain things because he is not a open minded person. Granted I knew this before I married him but I didn't think it would be this bad. He has two boys, my stepsons, 9 and 14. He really doesn't get involved with them much. I ask him to throw the football around with them, he won't. Going to school functions is like pulling teeth. I have to make and initiate all doctors visits in which he never wants to attend.
He rather play video games all day when he isn't working. He is a great nurse but he sucks at home when it comes to being a strong father. His excuse is, thats how my dad was and i shouldn't have to entertain my sons, they have friends for that. I didn't know he would be like this and frankly I'm tired of doing everything for the boys. He gets angry when I suggest he spend time with them or say he isn't spending enough time with them. With our new son he doesn't want to be bothered with him when he cries. I feel like I'm going insane.
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