I just need to vent.
So May 26 is the anniversary of when my wife's ex (her son's father) died. He hanged himself. had some pretty serious emotional problems. This was the third such anniversary.
So on the one hand, I totally want to be there for my family. I know its hard on jeffrey cuz he misses his dad, and its hard on wifey because she feels so bad for her son losing his dad....
except I feel like there's more to it than that. Wifey's ex (we'll call him John) was a loser. A drunk, druggy, in and out of jail, loser. Yep, he was the BAD BOY. John was the Bad Boy, and Wifey LOVES the bad boy.
And who seems the most upset by John's death? Not Jeffrey, who barely notices what day it is because lets face it...he's not missing much. It's Wifey, who I swear to god acts like she lost the love of her life every May 26th. I'll talk to her about it and she's like "I just feel so bad for Jeffrey..."
No you don't. I mean, yeah she does a little, but I can still tell she's missing him personally.
Which I guess is fine...heck I have ex's whom will always havea tiny little piece of my heart, in a cheesy sort of sense. And the guy is dead so its not like he's going to steal her away from me lol....
Still...I just wish I had nothing to do with it. I wish Wifey and Jeffrey could go deal in their own way so I'm not involved. I don't want to hear stories about all the good times, I don't want to look at pictures of him, I don't want to hear about what a good father he was that day he was sober, I don't want to see the look in your eyes that reminds me how much you really loved him and you were PROBABLY screwing him on the side too.
It would be easier if Wifey could take a hint. Which she can't. She doesn't pick up on me rapidly changing the subject every time she brings up John, she doesn't pick up on the fact that I refuse to look at pictures of him with her, or that I dont want to look at the pictures of his grave she just took, or that I don't want to visit his grave....
If she could take a hint, then everyone would be happy. Because then I don't have to hear about it anymore, AND I don't feel like a jerk because its not like I said "**** off about your dead boyfriend *****!"
So I just continue to suffer because I can't bring myself to bring it up without feeling like a monumental ****. Until next year....
So May 26 is the anniversary of when my wife's ex (her son's father) died. He hanged himself. had some pretty serious emotional problems. This was the third such anniversary.
So on the one hand, I totally want to be there for my family. I know its hard on jeffrey cuz he misses his dad, and its hard on wifey because she feels so bad for her son losing his dad....
except I feel like there's more to it than that. Wifey's ex (we'll call him John) was a loser. A drunk, druggy, in and out of jail, loser. Yep, he was the BAD BOY. John was the Bad Boy, and Wifey LOVES the bad boy.
And who seems the most upset by John's death? Not Jeffrey, who barely notices what day it is because lets face it...he's not missing much. It's Wifey, who I swear to god acts like she lost the love of her life every May 26th. I'll talk to her about it and she's like "I just feel so bad for Jeffrey..."
No you don't. I mean, yeah she does a little, but I can still tell she's missing him personally.
Which I guess is fine...heck I have ex's whom will always havea tiny little piece of my heart, in a cheesy sort of sense. And the guy is dead so its not like he's going to steal her away from me lol....
Still...I just wish I had nothing to do with it. I wish Wifey and Jeffrey could go deal in their own way so I'm not involved. I don't want to hear stories about all the good times, I don't want to look at pictures of him, I don't want to hear about what a good father he was that day he was sober, I don't want to see the look in your eyes that reminds me how much you really loved him and you were PROBABLY screwing him on the side too.
It would be easier if Wifey could take a hint. Which she can't. She doesn't pick up on me rapidly changing the subject every time she brings up John, she doesn't pick up on the fact that I refuse to look at pictures of him with her, or that I dont want to look at the pictures of his grave she just took, or that I don't want to visit his grave....
If she could take a hint, then everyone would be happy. Because then I don't have to hear about it anymore, AND I don't feel like a jerk because its not like I said "**** off about your dead boyfriend *****!"
So I just continue to suffer because I can't bring myself to bring it up without feeling like a monumental ****. Until next year....
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