I hope someone can help me.
Let me start by saying that my husband and I have been together for 22 years (but we have only been married for 9). I love him very much and he says he loves me. I have a bad temper. I yell a lot and sometimes for no reason at all (although I didn't always see it that way.) I have been taking steps to control my behavior. The problem is I think it may be too late.
Here is a quick history as to why I say it may be too late. After my son was born things got worse. I yelled at him a lot. So he started going out all the time. I responded to his leaving by going back to school under the guise it would make things better if I got my MBA. As I emerged myself in school, he continued to go out. We rarely said anything that was civil to one another. I did a whole lot of yelling. He responded by joining an online dating site. He swears he never had a relationship with any of the women he met, he was looking for companion ship. This continued and I finally graduated. Let me step back a moment I found out about the dating site because I was suspicious and went snooping. Back to after I graduated. I was still yelling (at times in public). He was never home. I got suspicious again and found an e-mail exchange between him and a woman where he said he thought he was falling for her. I lost it. I screamed at him, yelled, cried, and thre atened to do things to myself. Eventually he had me admitted to an in-patient facility. I started taking medication and speaking with a therapist. Things got better for a short time. But then life got in the way and I couldn't really see the therapist any longer. I got laid off. The medication made me feel worse or no different. But he never stopped going out. I guess being suspicious by nature, I started making accusations.
Ok - here is the really bad part. In what I thought was an attempt to get someone to get him to see things from my point of view I approached a couple of very, very close friends of his saying that he was seeing someone else. I never meant it to hurt him; just to make him see that what he was doing was hurting me. So even though I might have gotten my temper under control (although I have slipped up once or twice and he won't let me live it down), I screwed up big time. He is so angry at me he is speaking divorce. I can't seem to convince him that I am truly sorry for what I did. It doesn't matter if it was meant to hurt or not, the fact is I did hurt him. How can I convince him I am sorry. I can I help him to get over the anger. He is afraid that if he gives me another chance that I will do it again. He said that he doesn't want to wake up in another year and things haven't gotten any better. Please I need help. I don't want to lose him. I want to help him get p ast this anger so that we can have the life we always wanted.
Thanks. :confused::(
Let me start by saying that my husband and I have been together for 22 years (but we have only been married for 9). I love him very much and he says he loves me. I have a bad temper. I yell a lot and sometimes for no reason at all (although I didn't always see it that way.) I have been taking steps to control my behavior. The problem is I think it may be too late.
Here is a quick history as to why I say it may be too late. After my son was born things got worse. I yelled at him a lot. So he started going out all the time. I responded to his leaving by going back to school under the guise it would make things better if I got my MBA. As I emerged myself in school, he continued to go out. We rarely said anything that was civil to one another. I did a whole lot of yelling. He responded by joining an online dating site. He swears he never had a relationship with any of the women he met, he was looking for companion ship. This continued and I finally graduated. Let me step back a moment I found out about the dating site because I was suspicious and went snooping. Back to after I graduated. I was still yelling (at times in public). He was never home. I got suspicious again and found an e-mail exchange between him and a woman where he said he thought he was falling for her. I lost it. I screamed at him, yelled, cried, and thre atened to do things to myself. Eventually he had me admitted to an in-patient facility. I started taking medication and speaking with a therapist. Things got better for a short time. But then life got in the way and I couldn't really see the therapist any longer. I got laid off. The medication made me feel worse or no different. But he never stopped going out. I guess being suspicious by nature, I started making accusations.
Ok - here is the really bad part. In what I thought was an attempt to get someone to get him to see things from my point of view I approached a couple of very, very close friends of his saying that he was seeing someone else. I never meant it to hurt him; just to make him see that what he was doing was hurting me. So even though I might have gotten my temper under control (although I have slipped up once or twice and he won't let me live it down), I screwed up big time. He is so angry at me he is speaking divorce. I can't seem to convince him that I am truly sorry for what I did. It doesn't matter if it was meant to hurt or not, the fact is I did hurt him. How can I convince him I am sorry. I can I help him to get over the anger. He is afraid that if he gives me another chance that I will do it again. He said that he doesn't want to wake up in another year and things haven't gotten any better. Please I need help. I don't want to lose him. I want to help him get p ast this anger so that we can have the life we always wanted.
Thanks. :confused::(
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