So, H and I are Christians, and I dunno about you but the general idea I have come across at church is the idea that married couples, if fertile, should "multiply".
Well, me and H have really gone against the grain on that one. Married six years, i'm turning 32 soon, and still no babies. Not that we have spent six years trying or anything. We have been making some half baked effort to try the last six months but no baby yet.
About 18 months ago, my pastor came to pray over a place we bought, and the prayer was... omg.... awkward? I know he meant well, but... praying in the spare room that it would be "waiting " for a baby, and praying in our main room that it would be a room of love and passion and conception... subtle right? I dunno, maybe he assumed we were trying or even wanting a baby. Since then, I have felt funny about him praying for me or for us as a couple.
I do feel a kind of pressure to have a baby - as a Christian, a wife, a woman in her early 30s... my H isn't pressurey, he is very patient actually, and like me, he is not super clucky or "do or die" about it.
There are a bunch of reasons for my hesitation, the main one being my abject phobia of the entire birth process, or of miscarrying.
One other reason I feel would be frowned upon at church is that I know that my body will NEVER be the same again. I like it how it is, and I know things will go south eventually, but after birth, hormones cause weight gain, women pee themselves, have issues with their pelvic floor, vagina not the same, boobs change.
Apart from the toll it would take physically, I don't mind the idea of a baby and I know it would be loved and welcomed, but I wish I was trying for a baby feeling like my heart is actually in this. On an intellectual level, I think I am there. And I think we would regret not having one if we could.
Bleh... I dunno....
I looked into adopting, which is always what I thought I would do if I wanted kids one day. my H was open to it but I could sense his heart wasn't in it and I didn't think it would be fair for him or a kid if I charged down that path.
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Well, me and H have really gone against the grain on that one. Married six years, i'm turning 32 soon, and still no babies. Not that we have spent six years trying or anything. We have been making some half baked effort to try the last six months but no baby yet.
About 18 months ago, my pastor came to pray over a place we bought, and the prayer was... omg.... awkward? I know he meant well, but... praying in the spare room that it would be "waiting " for a baby, and praying in our main room that it would be a room of love and passion and conception... subtle right? I dunno, maybe he assumed we were trying or even wanting a baby. Since then, I have felt funny about him praying for me or for us as a couple.
I do feel a kind of pressure to have a baby - as a Christian, a wife, a woman in her early 30s... my H isn't pressurey, he is very patient actually, and like me, he is not super clucky or "do or die" about it.
There are a bunch of reasons for my hesitation, the main one being my abject phobia of the entire birth process, or of miscarrying.
One other reason I feel would be frowned upon at church is that I know that my body will NEVER be the same again. I like it how it is, and I know things will go south eventually, but after birth, hormones cause weight gain, women pee themselves, have issues with their pelvic floor, vagina not the same, boobs change.
Apart from the toll it would take physically, I don't mind the idea of a baby and I know it would be loved and welcomed, but I wish I was trying for a baby feeling like my heart is actually in this. On an intellectual level, I think I am there. And I think we would regret not having one if we could.
Bleh... I dunno....
I looked into adopting, which is always what I thought I would do if I wanted kids one day. my H was open to it but I could sense his heart wasn't in it and I didn't think it would be fair for him or a kid if I charged down that path.
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