*the first time I tried to post about this it never showed. I'm sorry if a similar story pops up twice*
I had originally posted in the sex and marriage section (lack of sex in marriage due to illness) because most of my marriage I have been very ill and it has caused us to have a sexless marriage but I had been attempting to help the issue by providing other means of sexual release for him, counseling, etc. The kind people in that forum recommended I start a post here.
http://ift.tt/1lNvyCV
Today I found out he cheated and am devastated. He had been away due to a family issue and when he came back we had a nice night in. The next day he completely ignored me. I asked if there was anything wrong with his family and got no response. I asked if everything was ok with us and was told No. He wanted a divorce as soon as possible and was no longer in love with me. He wanted us to still be friends but he could no longer love someone who he couldn't have sex with. He was very mad at me and eventually left. I am a very shy, introverted person and do not have many friends (which I feel is going to cause me much anguish in the near future) but I know my neighbor and invited her over. She was very kind but told me I needed to look at his computer while he was gone to see if he had been cheating.
I got into his computer and found tons of messages that confirmed he had been sleeping with a friend of a friend, messages telling people how much he hates me and how lazy I am, messages propositioning female friends (who I truly thought were just friends of his) for sex, messages making fun of me and my illness. It was absolutely awful.
When he came home I confronted him about the messages (yes I made copies) and he denied and denied. He was so angry that I had snooped (which I never do) but tried to have an innocent explanation for everything. He felt that it was ok to proposition women for sex because he knew he wanted a divorce at that time. He then asked if we wanted to go out to dinner. The rest of the night has continued like this- basically saying anything mean that he can to make me cry and then standing there and watching me cry, denying everything or making ludicrous excuses, or suddenly being nice and friendly.
I cannot stop throwing up. I love my husband. But I cannot forgive betrayal like this (and he has made it clear that he will not consider a reconciliation). I do not know what to do as I do not have many friends in the area and I do not make enough money to live on my own here. My family is very against divorce but if they were to let me move home I would (hopefully) have a place to live but I would have to find a new job and meet new people (I only know 2-3 people in my hometown since I have not lived there in quite a long time but unfortunately a TON of my husbands friends live in the area and I do not want to run into them).
Any advice is appreciated
I had originally posted in the sex and marriage section (lack of sex in marriage due to illness) because most of my marriage I have been very ill and it has caused us to have a sexless marriage but I had been attempting to help the issue by providing other means of sexual release for him, counseling, etc. The kind people in that forum recommended I start a post here.
http://ift.tt/1lNvyCV
Today I found out he cheated and am devastated. He had been away due to a family issue and when he came back we had a nice night in. The next day he completely ignored me. I asked if there was anything wrong with his family and got no response. I asked if everything was ok with us and was told No. He wanted a divorce as soon as possible and was no longer in love with me. He wanted us to still be friends but he could no longer love someone who he couldn't have sex with. He was very mad at me and eventually left. I am a very shy, introverted person and do not have many friends (which I feel is going to cause me much anguish in the near future) but I know my neighbor and invited her over. She was very kind but told me I needed to look at his computer while he was gone to see if he had been cheating.
I got into his computer and found tons of messages that confirmed he had been sleeping with a friend of a friend, messages telling people how much he hates me and how lazy I am, messages propositioning female friends (who I truly thought were just friends of his) for sex, messages making fun of me and my illness. It was absolutely awful.
When he came home I confronted him about the messages (yes I made copies) and he denied and denied. He was so angry that I had snooped (which I never do) but tried to have an innocent explanation for everything. He felt that it was ok to proposition women for sex because he knew he wanted a divorce at that time. He then asked if we wanted to go out to dinner. The rest of the night has continued like this- basically saying anything mean that he can to make me cry and then standing there and watching me cry, denying everything or making ludicrous excuses, or suddenly being nice and friendly.
I cannot stop throwing up. I love my husband. But I cannot forgive betrayal like this (and he has made it clear that he will not consider a reconciliation). I do not know what to do as I do not have many friends in the area and I do not make enough money to live on my own here. My family is very against divorce but if they were to let me move home I would (hopefully) have a place to live but I would have to find a new job and meet new people (I only know 2-3 people in my hometown since I have not lived there in quite a long time but unfortunately a TON of my husbands friends live in the area and I do not want to run into them).
Any advice is appreciated
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