Hello all,
Needing to vent and need some advice.
My husband and I have been together 8 years, married 3. Today I was scheduled for oral surgery in the morning. The night before I texted my husband asking him to pick up something for dinner since it would be my last solid meal for a while. He responds asking me if I want to go on vacation and he needs to know ASAP. I said ok I'll check my work calendar and see if anyone else is out those days. I found it very out of the blue since he is always complaining how busy he is and can't take time off. So that was the end of that conversation then finally around 730PM he texts me asking me what I want to eat and he'll drop it off but then he's going out. I ended up telling him forget it, I would just make something. This really upset me for for 2 reasons. 1. He knew how anxious I was about surgery so I thought he would be home to take my mind off it. 2. He made no mention the entire day of not being home at night and he had also been out the night before. So he came home to change, and I didn't talk to him since I was mad and upset. I end up going to bed crying, waking up every hour, until he finally shows up at 3AM. He didn't even come upstairs just slept on the couch. In the morning I got up and started getting ready and he starts in on me about being ungrateful because he just booked us (what??) a vacation and I'm not even happy about it. I said I didn't know it was a done deal with the limited texting we had about it and do you think that gives you the right to stay out all night? He said if I wanted him home I should have told him. I don't feel like I should have to tell my husband to be home, it should be something he WANTS to do. We have had major problems with his staying out all night before and have separated due to his behavior, so this is not something new. After fighting all morning, he takes me to surgery and had to stay there the whole time. He dropped me at home, went to get my meds, then left for work. He has not called or texted to se e how I am doing, and currently at 830PM he is still not home. I'm just again at a loss as to how selfish and mean he can be. It seems as though there is no approach I can take or anything that I can say to make him realize his behavior is not that of a married man. I'm not sure what else to do or how else to fix our marriage.
Needing to vent and need some advice.
My husband and I have been together 8 years, married 3. Today I was scheduled for oral surgery in the morning. The night before I texted my husband asking him to pick up something for dinner since it would be my last solid meal for a while. He responds asking me if I want to go on vacation and he needs to know ASAP. I said ok I'll check my work calendar and see if anyone else is out those days. I found it very out of the blue since he is always complaining how busy he is and can't take time off. So that was the end of that conversation then finally around 730PM he texts me asking me what I want to eat and he'll drop it off but then he's going out. I ended up telling him forget it, I would just make something. This really upset me for for 2 reasons. 1. He knew how anxious I was about surgery so I thought he would be home to take my mind off it. 2. He made no mention the entire day of not being home at night and he had also been out the night before. So he came home to change, and I didn't talk to him since I was mad and upset. I end up going to bed crying, waking up every hour, until he finally shows up at 3AM. He didn't even come upstairs just slept on the couch. In the morning I got up and started getting ready and he starts in on me about being ungrateful because he just booked us (what??) a vacation and I'm not even happy about it. I said I didn't know it was a done deal with the limited texting we had about it and do you think that gives you the right to stay out all night? He said if I wanted him home I should have told him. I don't feel like I should have to tell my husband to be home, it should be something he WANTS to do. We have had major problems with his staying out all night before and have separated due to his behavior, so this is not something new. After fighting all morning, he takes me to surgery and had to stay there the whole time. He dropped me at home, went to get my meds, then left for work. He has not called or texted to se e how I am doing, and currently at 830PM he is still not home. I'm just again at a loss as to how selfish and mean he can be. It seems as though there is no approach I can take or anything that I can say to make him realize his behavior is not that of a married man. I'm not sure what else to do or how else to fix our marriage.
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