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somebody help.. this is killing me.

Okay, let me start from the beginning .. I was with my boyfriend for almost a year and a half but recently we have been arguing quite a bit, sometimes just over stupid stuff..
But on Saturday, things got out of hand and I told him that I didn't want to be with him.. I didn't mean it though, it was a heat of the moment thing but me being stubborn couldn't take it back until the point it came to actually leaving. I went back and at first he said he didn't want this anymore and made me leave but I didn't get very far because I couldn't drive in the state I was in.. so I went back and luckily he took me back and we talked..

But then this morning, we argued again, about him coming with me to pick my mam up from hospital, eventually he told me to get my stuff and leave.. I tried to fight it for a bit but he didn't want to know and I had to leave so as to not be late for my mam.

After getting my mam, I agreed to go to his to exchange stuff but only cus I thought we'd be able to talk and sort it out.. but I got there and he still didn't want to know.. I tried everything, I suggested so many things to him but nothing.. Finally, he made me leave.. I couldn't actually bring myself to do it until his mam's neighbour/friend came out and told me that he couldn't miss me if I wasn't gone.. so I managed to calm myself down and drive home.

Tomorrow he is coming to get a few things that he needs and he told me we could talk.. probably because I told him not to bother coming to get them if he wasn't willing to talk (I didn't say this to be childish, it just killed me already having to leave once) but still.

We don't see each other outside of the relationship anymore cus I stopped going to cadets, which we were both part of, so this is my last chance to prove to him that he should give us another chance. It is breaking my heart to think that I will never see him again after spending so much time together and I'm willing to try anything to get him back.


If it's any help, I know what the problem is.. We're always with each other and we haven't had time to live our separate lives and spend time with our friends.. we have also sacrificed quite a bit for each other which isn't good at our age. I have also began to behave unfairly to him e.g show off to get my own way and childish about arguments.. I'm also a little weary about him being with other girls, but only cus he cheated on me about a year ago.

but I love him so, so much and he means absolutely everything to me.. I can't even sleep or eat and I constantly feel sick.. please can you just send your suggestions and I will be eternally grateful.

Thanks in advance :)

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