So I posted here almost a month ago that my H and I separated with the intent of filing for divorce. In the intervening time we have decided not to divorce just yet to give me time to find a "real" job with insurance because I have so many health issues. Fair enough.
H moved out and got an apartment. Says it's month-to-month, but who knows with him, since he has a history of lying about everything.
I went no contact after a few days of e-mails back and forth, both to regroup and get my wits about me and to just stop the insanity. If he wants out, he can be out but doesn't get to have it both ways.
Since then he is getting worse with the cake eating aspect of it. He wants to come over and visit, gets upset if I don't invite him to stay for dinner, upset if I don't invite him to spend the night, upset if I'm short with him when he wants to talk about all the mistakes I made, et cetera, et cetera.
I told him pretty much, "Look, I'm not cool with what you're doing. If you want out, then be out, but you don't get to have it both ways and be here for family life, dinner, and sex when it suits you and then walk back out the door to your apartment and whatever life you're building away from here."
I've started back to therapy and she agrees that I'm handling it the right way, especially since this is the sixth separation in a short time period. Her advice is to simply cut all strings and don't let him back in my life in any way, shape or form because of all the crap he has pulled.
I'm doing my part and looking really hard for a job with insurance so that we can officially divorce.
This "limbo" is so hard on me, though, because there are so many mixed messages: He hates me, he loves me; he wants to come home, he can't stand it here. He wants me to sit here waiting on him while he goes out and jumpstarts his new life.
Besides holding steady on the no contact thing and staying in therapy, what else do you do to get through this really crappy limbo period? I feel like I'm losing my mind.
H moved out and got an apartment. Says it's month-to-month, but who knows with him, since he has a history of lying about everything.
I went no contact after a few days of e-mails back and forth, both to regroup and get my wits about me and to just stop the insanity. If he wants out, he can be out but doesn't get to have it both ways.
Since then he is getting worse with the cake eating aspect of it. He wants to come over and visit, gets upset if I don't invite him to stay for dinner, upset if I don't invite him to spend the night, upset if I'm short with him when he wants to talk about all the mistakes I made, et cetera, et cetera.
I told him pretty much, "Look, I'm not cool with what you're doing. If you want out, then be out, but you don't get to have it both ways and be here for family life, dinner, and sex when it suits you and then walk back out the door to your apartment and whatever life you're building away from here."
I've started back to therapy and she agrees that I'm handling it the right way, especially since this is the sixth separation in a short time period. Her advice is to simply cut all strings and don't let him back in my life in any way, shape or form because of all the crap he has pulled.
I'm doing my part and looking really hard for a job with insurance so that we can officially divorce.
This "limbo" is so hard on me, though, because there are so many mixed messages: He hates me, he loves me; he wants to come home, he can't stand it here. He wants me to sit here waiting on him while he goes out and jumpstarts his new life.
Besides holding steady on the no contact thing and staying in therapy, what else do you do to get through this really crappy limbo period? I feel like I'm losing my mind.
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