I've had very strong suspicions that my closest work colleague has been cheating for about 12 months now. I haven't had sufficient evidence to tell her husband, but suffice to say I have known about it.
She knows about my situation and has even asked for advice for a "friend" about various infidelity related issues - I have sent her links to here and books that are often linked here too.
She came into work around a month ago when I wasn't in and had to go home upset. I, and another colleague, figured she had been finally caught out.
Two days ago she admitted to me what she had been up to and that her husband had gotten into her emails and found that she had still been in touch with the man he had found out about in February (so we were right about that part).
There is a lot, lot, more to this and I think she has even cheated on her AP with another colleague at work (again not enough to be concrete, but mine and somebody else's spidey senses were tingling).
So her husband left tonight. It looks like he did pretty much everything wrong but that's hardly his fault.
She didn't want him anymore (genuinely) and, even filtering the usual crud you here from betraying spouses, he clearly has issues.
I don't think she's that unhappy right now - if he leaves she can keep the kids and the house for now and it gives her carte blanche to carry on with her lover. He is married too, not sure if he has kids but suspect so and he lives too far away for a relationship to be realistic.
I'm annoyed because, despite my feelings about cheating, I have been understanding with her - without allowing her to lie to herself or me about what she has done. She does, to be fair, accept that what she has done is 100% wrong - but in true cheater's script fashion often then goes on to justify her actions.
It's been interesting seeing it all unfold from the "other side". It has made me appreciate my ex wife believe it or not - although I still can't forgive her or commit to any future, but in many ways she is not as "bad" as my colleague.
There is so much more to this than what I've written, but it's been pretty draining trying to keep an even keel through such another intense experience and my colleague is a complex mix of selfishness, entitlement, kindness, intelligence and fog thinking. But for the betrayal she is one of the better people I have had the privilege to know.
Her kids are lovely and, although their dad might not have been that close to them, I know this will devastate them. Such a damn shame.
Just thought I'd offload really; no point to my post at all :scratchhead:
She knows about my situation and has even asked for advice for a "friend" about various infidelity related issues - I have sent her links to here and books that are often linked here too.
She came into work around a month ago when I wasn't in and had to go home upset. I, and another colleague, figured she had been finally caught out.
Two days ago she admitted to me what she had been up to and that her husband had gotten into her emails and found that she had still been in touch with the man he had found out about in February (so we were right about that part).
There is a lot, lot, more to this and I think she has even cheated on her AP with another colleague at work (again not enough to be concrete, but mine and somebody else's spidey senses were tingling).
So her husband left tonight. It looks like he did pretty much everything wrong but that's hardly his fault.
She didn't want him anymore (genuinely) and, even filtering the usual crud you here from betraying spouses, he clearly has issues.
I don't think she's that unhappy right now - if he leaves she can keep the kids and the house for now and it gives her carte blanche to carry on with her lover. He is married too, not sure if he has kids but suspect so and he lives too far away for a relationship to be realistic.
I'm annoyed because, despite my feelings about cheating, I have been understanding with her - without allowing her to lie to herself or me about what she has done. She does, to be fair, accept that what she has done is 100% wrong - but in true cheater's script fashion often then goes on to justify her actions.
It's been interesting seeing it all unfold from the "other side". It has made me appreciate my ex wife believe it or not - although I still can't forgive her or commit to any future, but in many ways she is not as "bad" as my colleague.
There is so much more to this than what I've written, but it's been pretty draining trying to keep an even keel through such another intense experience and my colleague is a complex mix of selfishness, entitlement, kindness, intelligence and fog thinking. But for the betrayal she is one of the better people I have had the privilege to know.
Her kids are lovely and, although their dad might not have been that close to them, I know this will devastate them. Such a damn shame.
Just thought I'd offload really; no point to my post at all :scratchhead:
Put the internet to work for you.
| |
| Recommended for you |
No comments:
Post a Comment