I need some advice for a friend about his mum .I grew up with this guy.Spent half of my life with this guy.Im not going to mention his name.
A extended family with three kids( the fathers shy and timid and the mother is over protective) the kids have been emotionally scarred with other relatives disputes and arguments(11 in 1 house).The kids grow older yet their grades start to decline as a but one of the kids ( me and my friend) gots into a Private school because his mother had made him study .He was controlled by his mum whenever I called him out.His mum once said "You have to be cruel to be kind"
Age 12
I noticed he stopped playing football with us and spent a lot of his time studying in libraries and at home.He once told me I was the only friend he had and that he began to feel depressed and had lost connections with old friends.
He was scared of meeting new people and somehow felt isolated even around me.Whilst I was his best friend I stuck up for him when people were being nasty however I wasn't with him the entire time and felt sympathy for the guy.I remember someone saying he hid in the school toilets for an entire day just because he was scared of what people might think.
Age 13
I was the only person he could talk to.His parents got divorced and his mum became very abusive and aggressive towards me and very overprotective to whom he could talk to.She then shut me off seeing him or him coming over to my house.
Age 15
I only saw him at school and notice he was becoming more attention seeking and naive. He started missing lessons and skiving I always told him not to.
But he was bullied badly when he told teachers kids were teasing him.I noticed he became more open then,he talked about how his mum had a new relationship and given him more freedom .I was allowed back to visit him and chill out with him.
Age 16
Things soon changed when his mums partner broke up and all the attention and weight was put on his shoulders.Its as if he shriveled up back into his shell.He found other ways of trying to avoid people.I spoke to my own mum to talk to his mum ,but she said its not our problem and that we shouldn't get involved.
The whole school year was against him and I was sometimes teased for even being associated with him.He went to sixth form with me but we both failed our first year so went to a public college.
This was almost a hangover effect from the abuse and bullying he had to deal with.
Age 18
He spent most of his time on his own and I only saw him in the library just writing out notes.He still tells me hes depressed and that his mum still controls him.His mum apparently was taken by police for causing a violent argument with his other relatives,she also apparently was cocky towards the police and slightly racist towards one of them.Despite that she insist that his education is everything and happiness comes after success .She randomly called me bitter for no reason and suggested I have a sour personality just like my parents( I don't think she's ever met my parents).
Age 19
Hes going to some university in manchester next year.I think it will be good for him to get away from his overcontrolling mum.But I feel sorry and sympathetic because hes had to deal with alot of abuse.He tells me he tries to have a casual conversation with her yet she ignores him and childishly walks away.
Sadly I am an emotional person but this guy was like a brother and a friend i could listen to and I am worried ,he seems depressed and low.I dont know what I could do to help him or what he can do before things get worse.
He said these exact words a few days ago he was crying on my shoulder.
"My mum wasted my life she controlled me to do what she wants and I have suffered everything,what's left now of my life I've wasted the best years and its all because of her.I don't deserve any of this and why me"
A extended family with three kids( the fathers shy and timid and the mother is over protective) the kids have been emotionally scarred with other relatives disputes and arguments(11 in 1 house).The kids grow older yet their grades start to decline as a but one of the kids ( me and my friend) gots into a Private school because his mother had made him study .He was controlled by his mum whenever I called him out.His mum once said "You have to be cruel to be kind"
Age 12
I noticed he stopped playing football with us and spent a lot of his time studying in libraries and at home.He once told me I was the only friend he had and that he began to feel depressed and had lost connections with old friends.
He was scared of meeting new people and somehow felt isolated even around me.Whilst I was his best friend I stuck up for him when people were being nasty however I wasn't with him the entire time and felt sympathy for the guy.I remember someone saying he hid in the school toilets for an entire day just because he was scared of what people might think.
Age 13
I was the only person he could talk to.His parents got divorced and his mum became very abusive and aggressive towards me and very overprotective to whom he could talk to.She then shut me off seeing him or him coming over to my house.
Age 15
I only saw him at school and notice he was becoming more attention seeking and naive. He started missing lessons and skiving I always told him not to.
But he was bullied badly when he told teachers kids were teasing him.I noticed he became more open then,he talked about how his mum had a new relationship and given him more freedom .I was allowed back to visit him and chill out with him.
Age 16
Things soon changed when his mums partner broke up and all the attention and weight was put on his shoulders.Its as if he shriveled up back into his shell.He found other ways of trying to avoid people.I spoke to my own mum to talk to his mum ,but she said its not our problem and that we shouldn't get involved.
The whole school year was against him and I was sometimes teased for even being associated with him.He went to sixth form with me but we both failed our first year so went to a public college.
This was almost a hangover effect from the abuse and bullying he had to deal with.
Age 18
He spent most of his time on his own and I only saw him in the library just writing out notes.He still tells me hes depressed and that his mum still controls him.His mum apparently was taken by police for causing a violent argument with his other relatives,she also apparently was cocky towards the police and slightly racist towards one of them.Despite that she insist that his education is everything and happiness comes after success .She randomly called me bitter for no reason and suggested I have a sour personality just like my parents( I don't think she's ever met my parents).
Age 19
Hes going to some university in manchester next year.I think it will be good for him to get away from his overcontrolling mum.But I feel sorry and sympathetic because hes had to deal with alot of abuse.He tells me he tries to have a casual conversation with her yet she ignores him and childishly walks away.
Sadly I am an emotional person but this guy was like a brother and a friend i could listen to and I am worried ,he seems depressed and low.I dont know what I could do to help him or what he can do before things get worse.
He said these exact words a few days ago he was crying on my shoulder.
"My mum wasted my life she controlled me to do what she wants and I have suffered everything,what's left now of my life I've wasted the best years and its all because of her.I don't deserve any of this and why me"
Put the internet to work for you.
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