Its been almost 3.5 years since our marriage.
We are staying in US currently on H1 visa and my parents are staying in India along with my sister who is divorcee. She had some problems when she was a kid and due to that she is not normal. As such she is able to do most of the things(like cooking, cleaning and etc) on her own but she is not capable of handling external people and financial matters. She is almost 30 years old. She also had few bad habits like starring at people without talking anything and keep on talking alone. Once she stayed with my wife along with my parents for almost a month and due to that my wife got irriated a lot. Due to this incident my doesn't want to stay with her in entire life.
As of now my sister is dependent on my parents and staying with them only in India.
Moreover I wanted my parents to stay with me after my dad is retired and the same expectaction I set to my wife as well before we got married. She was fine in staying with parents at that point of time.
As I am also aware of the situation of my sister, I am trying to call my parents alone even though I know that its not reasonable ask from me to my parents. Somehow they are ready to come for 6 months just due to the reason that my wife is carrying currently. They are planning to put my sister with my grand mom for 6 months. This will work out probably for time being. But my sister doesn't stay properly with other people as she is very stubborn in most of the things. In this case it may happen that my parents may have to go back in between from US to India.
On top of this, as I wanted to stay with my parents along with my wife and kids since long time as I am the only son of my parents. I set the same expectation to my wife also in begining. But now my wife doesn't want to stay with my parents. It seems she has seen many issues with other relative who stays with their parents. Due to this she is very much clear now that she doesn't want to stay with parents. I love my wife like anything at the same time I would like to stay with parents as I have born and brought up with them and they also expect to stay with us when they are retired. I am ready to find out the options for my sister so that we dont have to stay with sister as well but I am not in a position to think about options as my wife is not at all ready to stay with my parents permanently. She is fine if they come on a temporary basis for short duration but not permanently.
Now I am really in a dilema as I can't leave my lovely wife for sure and at the same time I don't want to be totally selfish and live without my parents. Since childhood my wish is to stay with parents as well as my wife and I am confident of keeping a balance between wife and parents. But without having support from my wife this is not feasible. She is already talking about divorce in case if I want to stay with my parents. or she is saying that in that case she wants to call her parents as well as her parents are staying along in India as they dont have any son and all daughters are married at the moment.
I do understand the situation of my wife's parents as well and I have told them already that they can come and stay anytime with us even for a long duration.
BTW my sister was married at the time of our marriage. She took divorce after 6 months or so due to her nature and her in laws nature.
Could you please provide suggestion to me on this situation? I would like to know how can I keep my wife happy and at the same time I would like to keep my parents also happy who have brought me up. I would also like to keep my wife's parents happy in whatever way I can. Also I need to find out some really good options for my sister as well. Any suggestions on this would be of really great help to me.
We are staying in US currently on H1 visa and my parents are staying in India along with my sister who is divorcee. She had some problems when she was a kid and due to that she is not normal. As such she is able to do most of the things(like cooking, cleaning and etc) on her own but she is not capable of handling external people and financial matters. She is almost 30 years old. She also had few bad habits like starring at people without talking anything and keep on talking alone. Once she stayed with my wife along with my parents for almost a month and due to that my wife got irriated a lot. Due to this incident my doesn't want to stay with her in entire life.
As of now my sister is dependent on my parents and staying with them only in India.
Moreover I wanted my parents to stay with me after my dad is retired and the same expectaction I set to my wife as well before we got married. She was fine in staying with parents at that point of time.
As I am also aware of the situation of my sister, I am trying to call my parents alone even though I know that its not reasonable ask from me to my parents. Somehow they are ready to come for 6 months just due to the reason that my wife is carrying currently. They are planning to put my sister with my grand mom for 6 months. This will work out probably for time being. But my sister doesn't stay properly with other people as she is very stubborn in most of the things. In this case it may happen that my parents may have to go back in between from US to India.
On top of this, as I wanted to stay with my parents along with my wife and kids since long time as I am the only son of my parents. I set the same expectation to my wife also in begining. But now my wife doesn't want to stay with my parents. It seems she has seen many issues with other relative who stays with their parents. Due to this she is very much clear now that she doesn't want to stay with parents. I love my wife like anything at the same time I would like to stay with parents as I have born and brought up with them and they also expect to stay with us when they are retired. I am ready to find out the options for my sister so that we dont have to stay with sister as well but I am not in a position to think about options as my wife is not at all ready to stay with my parents permanently. She is fine if they come on a temporary basis for short duration but not permanently.
Now I am really in a dilema as I can't leave my lovely wife for sure and at the same time I don't want to be totally selfish and live without my parents. Since childhood my wish is to stay with parents as well as my wife and I am confident of keeping a balance between wife and parents. But without having support from my wife this is not feasible. She is already talking about divorce in case if I want to stay with my parents. or she is saying that in that case she wants to call her parents as well as her parents are staying along in India as they dont have any son and all daughters are married at the moment.
I do understand the situation of my wife's parents as well and I have told them already that they can come and stay anytime with us even for a long duration.
BTW my sister was married at the time of our marriage. She took divorce after 6 months or so due to her nature and her in laws nature.
Could you please provide suggestion to me on this situation? I would like to know how can I keep my wife happy and at the same time I would like to keep my parents also happy who have brought me up. I would also like to keep my wife's parents happy in whatever way I can. Also I need to find out some really good options for my sister as well. Any suggestions on this would be of really great help to me.
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