| My girlfriend is from the town where I go to uni and I have not seen her for some months due to living in France. Since I've been back, I've miraculously got a job working at Subway in my home town. It is a tough job but for the first time in my life I'm not saving for anything and can spend what I earn. For me, the job represents a real shot at becoming a "normal person" which I haven't been for years. I have been depressed since my brother was diagnosed with an incurable neurological disease which has cruelly robbed him of his mobility. My depression has manifested in me being petrified of never being able to get into a decent career, and in apocalyptic thinking stemming from the stuff I read in the news. For this reason I have been saving to re-train after university at the cost of a lot of my sanity. Now I have saved and that's why the job is so important to me this summer (my depression was compounded by not being able to get a job the past two summers). Now, my girlfriend also works very hard all week as a "case handler" (like a call centre) at a law firm in which sector she hopes to build a career. Her life is very difficult too as she has her own limitations and her mum had a catastrophic stroke last year. She feels trapped and isolated from me. When I was in France she came all the way to see me three times at great expense and I didn't go back to see her. I became quite insane from depression and isolation in France. The issue now is that we figured out weekends when I'd tell my boss I was on pre-booked holiday so he'd have to give me it when he hired me, only two-ish weeks ago. However I got one of these dates wrong, so I booked off August 9-12 when my gf wanted to go to Paris, but she booked off August 2-5. I don't want to go all the way to Paris to see her (which we've actually already done this year); I'd much rather she came to my house for the weekend. But she insists that if she doesn't get away (having, mind you, been on some 4 weekend breaks already in the 6 months since starting her job) she will fall into depression. So I resolved to grit my teeth and go along with her whim so as to make her happy, because I love her. I will not enjoy Paris, the difficulty of getting there, the worry that work is going to be calling asking where I am and I will have to lie and pretend to be sick for 4 days. The price of taking sick days will very likely be me losing my job and falling back into the hell that I've been in for the past two or two years, with no income to heal myself with, and nothing to think about but refreshing the newspaper websites and worrying about the future. Even worse, I'll only have actually been in the job 4 weeks, earn barely any money and lose the reference to boot. So I am having to sacrifice my sanity and healing process so that my girlfriend can have hers. I feel trapped and I don't know if it's unreasonable that she wants me to go all the way to Paris and maybe lose my job for her. I should have said something earlier but I didn't want to set her off into a phase of depression. Now it's reached crisis point and to tell her now would be even worse. What do I do, please I really need help here and can't sleep for the worry. | |||
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