Can't orgasm, what is wrong with me?

I'm a female, early thirties, and have been with my husband for 12 years. I have never once been able to have an orgasm with him, but I have no problem having one alone. I truly want to fix this because I would like to experience it with my husband, and it has made him feel inadequate and less interested in sex if he feels like he isn't fully pleasing me. I just don't know how to overcome this. The closest I got was getting myself off in front of him but I feel like I can't have any distractions or it won't happen. And I actually can't have an orgasm with a vibrator, alone or not, it just doesn't work. I started masturbating when I was pretty young, and I have a high sex drive. I get myself off regularly and always have, so I'm wondering if I trained myself to be this way? Like maybe the exact way in which I do it has become such a habit that I can't break it? I can only get myself off in one position, with my legs kind of close together, using my hand as I said (no vibrator) and even if my husband tries using his hand in about the same position I feel like I get close but can never go all the way. He has tried oral, using his hand, the vibrator... and as I said I sometimes get close but not close enough. I'm really wondering if this is psychological, if I have somehow physically desensitized myself, or both. I decided to stop masturbating completely hoping that will eventually help. I don't think his technique has anything to do with it, I believe it is all me. I am not afraid to communicate with him about what I like and don't like. Has anyone gone through this? Is there anything else I can try? I feel hopeless and I hate that it makes him feel so bad. I'm scared that it will never happen!

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