Interracial relationship: Should I still be upset? Should I have ever been upset?

I was with a guy for 2, coming to 3 years. Our relationship had always been a bit turbulent because he just didn't seem capable of showing his 'apparent' love for me that 'supposedly' equalled mine. Also, to add to that, we were in a interracial relationship and his mother expressed clearly her disapproval about me (calling me a 'fat black girl', saying I was 'ugly', suggesting he find a 'nice white girl' and stopping when possible, her son from seeing me). For the years of our relationship I put up with this, because I sincerely loved him. During a momentary break of ours, when tensions temporarily frayed, he kissed another woman. Some would say this was fine, but when he did so, we were actually talking of getting back together and had worked out our differences. This was another set back for me, but I kept pushing forward, incredibly in love and determined for things to work. It was going surprisingly well at our 2 and a half year mark, when I was struggling with some family difficulties. Talking to him for comfort, I told him I was going to spend the night at a hotel, feeling unable to stay at home. Determined for somewhat reason, he refused to stay at his home and was adamant he was going to accompany me. I met him to reassure him i was fine and tell him I was fine , he was still resolute he was coming. So i forked out for a double room. One our way to the hotel I forced him to at least contact his mother to tell her. Fumbling and sheepish he couldn't even explain to his mother, I then spoke to her to be met with anger, abuse and accusation. But still i left it. At the hotel things got passionate, my phone had died, not knowing he'd switched of his. After a while I connected my charger to my laptop to be met with a barrage of phone calls of 'concern' from his mother, messages from 'friends' who had given my home address to his mother and furious messages from my parents who had an angry and abusive mother on their door step saying I had 'dragged her son into all of this'. Distraught by it all, I told him to contact his mother, but like a child he threw a strop until finally agreeing. A few hushed moments and he was getting dressed and out of the door, I ran out trying to make sense of it, before just letting him go and thinking to myself. A few minutes later I ran out again, thinking somehow I could get things to work, but he was gone. For over a week I didn't hear from him, but i heard from everyone else telling me how horrible I was for 'staging such an act'. Weeks after he was back begging for another chance, I gave him one as he didn't want to spend his birthday alone, but soon after I couldn't do it. Up until a few weeks ago, he still harasses me, begging and saying he's changed. For my birthday he brought flowers to my door, but I got my sister to take them in. The thing is amidst his pleading, he went back to the same woman he kissed and started a relationship before breaking it off and carrying on his harassing me, all because he felt lonely? Now coming up to exactly a year since the hotel, i'm still upset, I don't really trust guys anymore and they all seem false. But should I feel this way? Should I have even been upset in the first place? And most of all, what should I do? I mean, a year on, I've lost 3 stone and if i'm being honest, look a lotttt better than I did, should I still care? I get a lot of male attention now, but I just don't trust guys. Sorry this is so long

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