Confused

Long story but I'll try keep it short. I used to talk to this boy. This lasted for 5 years on and off. When it was on we would talk for hours on end everyday. I couldn't meet him face to face, for reasons I can't divulge here. But I developed feelings for him. Not feelings of love as I don't believe one can fall in love with someone with whom they haven't seen and spent time with in real life. But these were feelings of elation when I spoke to him, missing him enormously when I didn't. Feelings of care for him and his wellbeing. Having feelings for someone I couldn't meet messed with my head, so I made the decision to stop talking to him. A few years passed, we went our separate ways and had no contact at all. Recently we got back in contact and straight away we fell back into the routine of talking for hours everyday. All the feelings I had for him also came rushing back. This situation messed with my head all those years ago and it's doing the same now. When I think about not being able to talk to him though, it's just unbearable. I don't really have a question or direction for this post. I'd be interested in hearing other people's opinions and thoughts on this situation though :(

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