| So my GF and I have been dating for about a year now and it still seems we are discussing the same problems over and over. Her take is that we're not coming to any resolutions. (ie, I'm not making any changes or compromises). She keeps saying my focus isn't 100% on the relationship. I think her biggest complaint is we don't spend enough time together throughout the week. She's making me feel like I need to eliminate and change lots of things in my life.. so that we can have more time together. That's hard for me to understand.. since it makes me feel like I'd be giving in... tail between my legs. (would that make me feel happy for myself ?) As of recently... when we do spend time together, we've been talking about all our issues in the relationship. The most re-occuring are... us not spending enough time together, me not making sacrifices with my time, me being selfish and doing what I want to do, and her problems with my ex('s). I'm st ill to this day trying to figure out what exactly she wants and how she can be happy in our relationship. I consider myself a pretty easy going guy, adaptable in any situation... her.. not so much, possibly more towards the opposite. I'm just trying to figure out if this relationship is heading in the right direction. A little background... We're both in our early 30's. We both work full-time (40+ hours). We live 20 miles away from each other. She ended a 6 year relationship, a few months before we started dating. (they co-habitated), she owns her own house and has a teenage son. (90% custody). I'm a divorced (2008) father with an 8 year old son (75% custody). His mom lives 3 hours away. I was diagnosed with ADD, 3 years ago. I'm a new home owner (Dec. '12). I leave work at 5:30p everyday. I also do sidework occasionally. My son is involved in activities 3 days out of the week. I"m also his basketball teams coach, so 2 of those nights are with me. He goes to his Mom's every other Friday for the weekend. My GF works every other weekend. (the weekend my son's gone). So we have 2 weekends out of the month we don't work. (we both have our kids though). She's wants me to start adjusting my weekly (evening) schedules so we have more time together. It's making me stressed, since I have so many things to do at home, that I'm not getting around to. I'm still organizing/unpacking things from the move. I have house chores to do etc. (as a single father). She also made me feel guilty about buying a new house (that i've been planning on before we met), and that I took the role as my sons basketball coach this year. (both decisions i'm very happy about, very rewarding and fulfilling). She was not happy about either of those decisions, and tried to say it was a selfish decisions on my part.. taking away time from our relationship. I"m basically feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, that she's never happy, and my to-do list keep s growing and growing. Any advice ? Thanks. |
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