...and he couldn't do it for me.
Brief history for those who don't know my story. DDay was February 20 of this year. My then husband of 25 years, it turned out, had been cheating on me with the OW since the previous September. Refused a request for counseling and said there was nothing I could do or say to change his mind. He met her at an out-of-state funeral. He had only spent five days in December with her at this point, that he lied to me about at the time. She is 3 years older and weighs about 80 pounds more than I. The weight thing is important to mention because he is a Fat Shamer who made me feel bad the couple times in our marriage I dared to gain 15 or 20 pounds. He moved out in May - when it was convenient for him. We filed in early July. The divorce was final July 29. We have a 13-year-old son.
He had told me previously that he planned to move her down to Florida - to our same town, 10 minutes away - "by the end of the year." Otherwise, except for flying her down here in May for a week the week after he moved out, their relationship has been entirely by phone.
In June, he had a brief period of feeling remorse for "the way he went about things" and swore he'd do anything I wanted, other than stop seeing her or stopping the divorce, where she was concerned. I said, "I just ask that you wait to move her down here until after my trip to New York in October." He knows I'm going up there in mid-October for five days for my niece's wedding, and our son will be staying with him then. Our son knows about her, but is not in a hurry to meet her. He said, "No problem. It'll probably be the end of October at the earliest."
He tells me tonight that she's moving down here "at the end of September." I reminded him that the one and only thing I've asked him in all this is to wait until after my trip in October. He goes, "Oh. I'm sorry. I guess I forgot all about that." I said, "So, DS will be staying with you and her, now, for five days in a month, when he hasn't even met her yet, and two weeks after she moves in. That's good thinking."
He goes, "Well, I've had a lot of stress and a lot on my plate this year." I lost it. I said, "YOU'VE had a lot of stress and a lot on your plate this year???!!! YOU have???!!!"
He goes, "Let's stop talking about this now, before you feel worse than I've already made you feel. I'll call you tomorrow."
I'm going to let him tell his son about this. And I'm not going to let my son know he promised me he wouldn't do this, and once again showed what his promises are good for. Not to protect my POS ex. To protect my son.
Was it unreasonable of me to ask this of him? We're divorced now - his private life is his own. But when it involves my son and could potentially hurt him, it makes my blood boil.
I'm sorry, but God d@mn him.
Brief history for those who don't know my story. DDay was February 20 of this year. My then husband of 25 years, it turned out, had been cheating on me with the OW since the previous September. Refused a request for counseling and said there was nothing I could do or say to change his mind. He met her at an out-of-state funeral. He had only spent five days in December with her at this point, that he lied to me about at the time. She is 3 years older and weighs about 80 pounds more than I. The weight thing is important to mention because he is a Fat Shamer who made me feel bad the couple times in our marriage I dared to gain 15 or 20 pounds. He moved out in May - when it was convenient for him. We filed in early July. The divorce was final July 29. We have a 13-year-old son.
He had told me previously that he planned to move her down to Florida - to our same town, 10 minutes away - "by the end of the year." Otherwise, except for flying her down here in May for a week the week after he moved out, their relationship has been entirely by phone.
In June, he had a brief period of feeling remorse for "the way he went about things" and swore he'd do anything I wanted, other than stop seeing her or stopping the divorce, where she was concerned. I said, "I just ask that you wait to move her down here until after my trip to New York in October." He knows I'm going up there in mid-October for five days for my niece's wedding, and our son will be staying with him then. Our son knows about her, but is not in a hurry to meet her. He said, "No problem. It'll probably be the end of October at the earliest."
He tells me tonight that she's moving down here "at the end of September." I reminded him that the one and only thing I've asked him in all this is to wait until after my trip in October. He goes, "Oh. I'm sorry. I guess I forgot all about that." I said, "So, DS will be staying with you and her, now, for five days in a month, when he hasn't even met her yet, and two weeks after she moves in. That's good thinking."
He goes, "Well, I've had a lot of stress and a lot on my plate this year." I lost it. I said, "YOU'VE had a lot of stress and a lot on your plate this year???!!! YOU have???!!!"
He goes, "Let's stop talking about this now, before you feel worse than I've already made you feel. I'll call you tomorrow."
I'm going to let him tell his son about this. And I'm not going to let my son know he promised me he wouldn't do this, and once again showed what his promises are good for. Not to protect my POS ex. To protect my son.
Was it unreasonable of me to ask this of him? We're divorced now - his private life is his own. But when it involves my son and could potentially hurt him, it makes my blood boil.
I'm sorry, but God d@mn him.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment