Hello all,
I really need help with my near 12 year relationship with my fiance. My problem lies in the fact that we were together 3 years and than he left me. He came back after almost a year realizing he was wrong and missed what he had. I loved him so much, did everything I could to keep him but back then he was a tortured soul, never had love, not a good childhood and no relationships that stuck. He left feeling not deserving and not sure what love was. I was 41 at the time he was 37. He changed, he grew, wanted a life, has done everything right to love me and make up for leaving. We have done counseling, I've done it alone but our communication styles are different and I don't trust him in my heart. I 'think' I have forgiven but if I don't trust him fully then I guess I haven't. We argue constantly due to my subconscious hurt and his frustration. I love this man so much but don't know how to not live in the past and move forward. It's clearly my fault more than his. He is n ot a 'normal' guy as he says, he wasn't raised like I was in a good parent family. How do I forgive, how do we communicate better....fight fairly...........trust again? I'm at my wits end and neither of us want to lose the other.
I really need help with my near 12 year relationship with my fiance. My problem lies in the fact that we were together 3 years and than he left me. He came back after almost a year realizing he was wrong and missed what he had. I loved him so much, did everything I could to keep him but back then he was a tortured soul, never had love, not a good childhood and no relationships that stuck. He left feeling not deserving and not sure what love was. I was 41 at the time he was 37. He changed, he grew, wanted a life, has done everything right to love me and make up for leaving. We have done counseling, I've done it alone but our communication styles are different and I don't trust him in my heart. I 'think' I have forgiven but if I don't trust him fully then I guess I haven't. We argue constantly due to my subconscious hurt and his frustration. I love this man so much but don't know how to not live in the past and move forward. It's clearly my fault more than his. He is n ot a 'normal' guy as he says, he wasn't raised like I was in a good parent family. How do I forgive, how do we communicate better....fight fairly...........trust again? I'm at my wits end and neither of us want to lose the other.
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