I really don't know if this is appropriate on this forum/website as it is not 100% related to marriage issues, although that is a factor. Just seeking advice.
I have a son, age 12, who plays soccer. Last year was his first year on a travel team (division 8, not not high level, but it was a brand new team) after playing a few years on club teams. Long story short, every single family ended up leaving that team because coach is a jackass. My son, the goalkeeper, left before the season was even over, and so did 2 other kids. (The coach has no team at all this year....not one child showed up for tryouts).
Anyway, my son really, really wants to play with his buddies from school, who were on his travel team that folded. They are twin boys, in his class. He liked the other kids from his team, too, but these boys are two of his best friends and vice versa. Really nice kids. They all tried out for the same travel team this month, a "new" one for all of them, this year. It's also a new team for this club, as they have not had a U13 team prior (or at least recently). I'll call that Team A. Also, my son and the twins tried out for another team (I'll call team B) and the twins, separately tried out for yet a third team (team C), that my son did not try out for because it's just too far from our house--the practices.
Long story short, my son was immediately invited to the team since he is the best goalkeeper.....he showed no hustle on the field (mainly due to an injury, but also because something just feels "off" to him about this team), but he really is a good goalie, and he is tall and definitely has that on his side. The twins are still in limbo, but they had to accept at Team B since they were offered, and they were not getting return phone calls from Team A. (Even though one of the coaches was a dad from last year's travel team...rude!). My son and I are both shocked that the twins were not accepted (and so and so was) because they are really good defensive players. Very solid.
There is no chance of my son moving to their team because A. He didn't try out and B. It's too far. Team C is still an option floating in the air because they haven't made any decisions. My son liked the vibe of that team better, although I'm not sure why. I also really liked what I saw there in terms of the president being there, talking to all the parents, etc.
So here's my question. We have accepted Team A, but only because we were given a time limit of 48 hours (which was this morning) and I kind had to. No signing a contract, no payment. Found out tonight about the twins. My son is not very motivated by his love of the sport to play. He loves being with his buds/team and that is what motivates him, but now that the twins are not there, he's left with only 2 boys from prior team that made it (the twins and about 4 others did not). He likes them, but they are not his BFFs since they all go to different schools. My son is just not that motivated to get off his butt all that much in general (which drives his father, a great athlete, crazy.).
The travel team will be anywhere from $1200 - $1500 for a year.
These are the things I'm thinking about and wondering, are we NOT supposed to do this?? Are we supposed to take a year off??
1. He has an injury. He's definitely in a growth spurt at age 12, and will be for a while with his genes (tall dad) and build. He was just diagnosed with Sever's Disease and we are also awaiting approval for an MRI because he may have a fracture, as seen on X-ray. He was given inserts for his shoes this week, instructions to ice/advil/stretch, but there's a very, very good chance he'll be put in a boot for at least a month, and I don't see that even happening for another 2 weeks until we get the MRI sorted out. He could be in a boot regardless of results of MRI.
2. His buds are not going to be on the team, and I'm concerned about his motivation and enthusiasm for practices especially. I've talked to him about this and asked him to think hard about what his attitude will be. I was encouraged at least when he said, "well, yes, i'll still do it because what else am I going to do?" (TRUTH!)
3. I found out today that two MAJOR roads to get us to the practices are going to be closing very soon -- one for 6 months and one for THREE YEARS.......this is a HUGE inconvenience! UGH! (This would not exist for other teams, such as Team C, which has yet to make any decisions, and may not even have enough to field a team)
4. Our family dynamic. Long story short, his dad and I are divorced, but reconciled last year, it failed (due to him) and I am moving out, settlement on my new house is June 15. So obviously, there's a lot going on with that emotionally and logistically.
I'm not at all looking for anyone to validate us backing out of this soccer commitment. I really WANT to do it....I WANT my son to be all in. I just don't know if he really WILL be when it comes down to it, and I'm wondering if all these "strikes against us" are telling me that maybe now is not the best time and we need to take a year off?? But then, how does he keep us his skills? :(. (The middle school soccer coach at school is terrible....he hated it and didn't last very long on that team, and neither did any other players who were also playing travel soccer....he goes to a small Christian school and they kinda take when they can get as far as coaches go :/)
I have a son, age 12, who plays soccer. Last year was his first year on a travel team (division 8, not not high level, but it was a brand new team) after playing a few years on club teams. Long story short, every single family ended up leaving that team because coach is a jackass. My son, the goalkeeper, left before the season was even over, and so did 2 other kids. (The coach has no team at all this year....not one child showed up for tryouts).
Anyway, my son really, really wants to play with his buddies from school, who were on his travel team that folded. They are twin boys, in his class. He liked the other kids from his team, too, but these boys are two of his best friends and vice versa. Really nice kids. They all tried out for the same travel team this month, a "new" one for all of them, this year. It's also a new team for this club, as they have not had a U13 team prior (or at least recently). I'll call that Team A. Also, my son and the twins tried out for another team (I'll call team B) and the twins, separately tried out for yet a third team (team C), that my son did not try out for because it's just too far from our house--the practices.
Long story short, my son was immediately invited to the team since he is the best goalkeeper.....he showed no hustle on the field (mainly due to an injury, but also because something just feels "off" to him about this team), but he really is a good goalie, and he is tall and definitely has that on his side. The twins are still in limbo, but they had to accept at Team B since they were offered, and they were not getting return phone calls from Team A. (Even though one of the coaches was a dad from last year's travel team...rude!). My son and I are both shocked that the twins were not accepted (and so and so was) because they are really good defensive players. Very solid.
There is no chance of my son moving to their team because A. He didn't try out and B. It's too far. Team C is still an option floating in the air because they haven't made any decisions. My son liked the vibe of that team better, although I'm not sure why. I also really liked what I saw there in terms of the president being there, talking to all the parents, etc.
So here's my question. We have accepted Team A, but only because we were given a time limit of 48 hours (which was this morning) and I kind had to. No signing a contract, no payment. Found out tonight about the twins. My son is not very motivated by his love of the sport to play. He loves being with his buds/team and that is what motivates him, but now that the twins are not there, he's left with only 2 boys from prior team that made it (the twins and about 4 others did not). He likes them, but they are not his BFFs since they all go to different schools. My son is just not that motivated to get off his butt all that much in general (which drives his father, a great athlete, crazy.).
The travel team will be anywhere from $1200 - $1500 for a year.
These are the things I'm thinking about and wondering, are we NOT supposed to do this?? Are we supposed to take a year off??
1. He has an injury. He's definitely in a growth spurt at age 12, and will be for a while with his genes (tall dad) and build. He was just diagnosed with Sever's Disease and we are also awaiting approval for an MRI because he may have a fracture, as seen on X-ray. He was given inserts for his shoes this week, instructions to ice/advil/stretch, but there's a very, very good chance he'll be put in a boot for at least a month, and I don't see that even happening for another 2 weeks until we get the MRI sorted out. He could be in a boot regardless of results of MRI.
2. His buds are not going to be on the team, and I'm concerned about his motivation and enthusiasm for practices especially. I've talked to him about this and asked him to think hard about what his attitude will be. I was encouraged at least when he said, "well, yes, i'll still do it because what else am I going to do?" (TRUTH!)
3. I found out today that two MAJOR roads to get us to the practices are going to be closing very soon -- one for 6 months and one for THREE YEARS.......this is a HUGE inconvenience! UGH! (This would not exist for other teams, such as Team C, which has yet to make any decisions, and may not even have enough to field a team)
4. Our family dynamic. Long story short, his dad and I are divorced, but reconciled last year, it failed (due to him) and I am moving out, settlement on my new house is June 15. So obviously, there's a lot going on with that emotionally and logistically.
I'm not at all looking for anyone to validate us backing out of this soccer commitment. I really WANT to do it....I WANT my son to be all in. I just don't know if he really WILL be when it comes down to it, and I'm wondering if all these "strikes against us" are telling me that maybe now is not the best time and we need to take a year off?? But then, how does he keep us his skills? :(. (The middle school soccer coach at school is terrible....he hated it and didn't last very long on that team, and neither did any other players who were also playing travel soccer....he goes to a small Christian school and they kinda take when they can get as far as coaches go :/)
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