I am a person of action seeking to comprehend and grow by implementing carefully researched solutions of problems at first I do not understand. I google all manner of different types of issues. Read several opinions until I am comfortable with a consensus opinion that honors my values.
Does my spouse do that?
Nope.
Drives me nutso.
My wife and I have had our share of issues. It probably sounds arrogant for me to say "if it weren't for me, none would ever get resolved."
She does not seem to identify that which does not work, nor does she consider stopping that insanity of a pattern that never works.
I consider myself a problem solver. I consider my wife oblivious about many identifiable problems, lazy about thinking about understanding them and how to fix them and uninterested in solving the issues of the day week year etc.
I also have to fight her tooth and nail for the simplest solutions because of the lack of sophistication about the context and what the hell is going on.
Perhaps I am an enabler.
Do any of you get frustrated with your spouses lack of effort or interest in figuring out how to get past issues in your marriage, life, etc?
Feel free to roast me for not respecting her actions. I understand I may be more oblivious than she is.
Am I a problem? Am I the problem?
I wish she was proactive about identifying issues and fixing them. I am always listening for opportunities to fix things. She seems very happy go lucky, who gives a damn kinda gal.
Drives me crazy at times. She often agrees eventually that an issue exists and what the solution ought to be but I always have to catch her up and pay my dues to get it implemented.
Example 1: She and I were growing apart - I looked at it and we now have a "system" ad some agreements to fix that. We always greet each other and say goodbye with a nice kiss and hug. That has been key to rekindling some of our passion and she now likes it even more than I do. My idea.
Example 2: Daughter frustrated with her lectures and shuts down conversation with emotional outburst - I watched this over and over until they were yelling at each other. I talked to each of them individually and each agreed to a different approach and to recognize the signals so it doesn't go off the rails any more. My idea
Example 3: Dog violating the hardwood floor when allowed to roam freely when we were not home (lol) - Googled small dogs house training and did what it recommended. Problem solved. My idea.
She would have continued for years had I not stepped in. She fought all of it and now loves them all
There are hundreds of them.
Does my spouse do that?
Nope.
Drives me nutso.
My wife and I have had our share of issues. It probably sounds arrogant for me to say "if it weren't for me, none would ever get resolved."
She does not seem to identify that which does not work, nor does she consider stopping that insanity of a pattern that never works.
I consider myself a problem solver. I consider my wife oblivious about many identifiable problems, lazy about thinking about understanding them and how to fix them and uninterested in solving the issues of the day week year etc.
I also have to fight her tooth and nail for the simplest solutions because of the lack of sophistication about the context and what the hell is going on.
Perhaps I am an enabler.
Do any of you get frustrated with your spouses lack of effort or interest in figuring out how to get past issues in your marriage, life, etc?
Feel free to roast me for not respecting her actions. I understand I may be more oblivious than she is.
Am I a problem? Am I the problem?
I wish she was proactive about identifying issues and fixing them. I am always listening for opportunities to fix things. She seems very happy go lucky, who gives a damn kinda gal.
Drives me crazy at times. She often agrees eventually that an issue exists and what the solution ought to be but I always have to catch her up and pay my dues to get it implemented.
Example 1: She and I were growing apart - I looked at it and we now have a "system" ad some agreements to fix that. We always greet each other and say goodbye with a nice kiss and hug. That has been key to rekindling some of our passion and she now likes it even more than I do. My idea.
Example 2: Daughter frustrated with her lectures and shuts down conversation with emotional outburst - I watched this over and over until they were yelling at each other. I talked to each of them individually and each agreed to a different approach and to recognize the signals so it doesn't go off the rails any more. My idea
Example 3: Dog violating the hardwood floor when allowed to roam freely when we were not home (lol) - Googled small dogs house training and did what it recommended. Problem solved. My idea.
She would have continued for years had I not stepped in. She fought all of it and now loves them all
There are hundreds of them.
Put the internet to work for you.
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