My urges and dreams go against everything I've been taught to follow. I'm a Muslim living in Britain and I originate from Pakistan. I am a Muslim because I have been brought up that way by my family the teachings have made me the person I am today and I am thankful for that. However as I am experiencing life more am I beginning to see my true colours. I am no longer this heavily religious 15 year old Muslim, yet a evolving teenage boy looking for the right answers.
I don't know where I belong the rules of society have taken me away from this religion I was once so engulfed in, but I feel like it was for the best. I was raised to not drink, do drugs or have sex before marriage I have not done any of these things but by the rules of society I see myself as an outsider because of this. But I want to try I want to experience these things I don't want to feel like an outsider to my peers and the people are around me. And since I live in Britain its become rather the 'norm' to drink try drugs and sex before marriage. But do these urges, to try, make me a bad person? I've come so close before but i would think of my family and how it would hurt them if they found out. I know for certain this experience is shared with many young Muslims around the world. But what do I do. I feel I am stuck between my urges and dreams and my family and religion I now am having doubts on.
I have acted upon my urges before I was in a relationship with a girl for year yet the thoughts came flooding back that what I was doing was wrong. Yet I was following the rules of society this was considered normal to the people around me but not at home. So I have experienced and I liked it for a majority of the time yet it still had to come to an end. Is what I am feeling wrong? Is it shared?
Any helpful insight would be greatly appreciate
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