Recently engaged. This topic has come up between us several times and I had thought we had got it resolved.
We live 1.5 hours away from each other. One of us will have to move away from our family and friends. I only have my grandparents left and they are both elderly(83); while they are able to do for themselves, I do assist them quite often. I make/made this a clear issue before I start to date anyone.
My background. I have a career and make decent money and also have rental properties in my area which provide steady income. I also own my house outright. I have 8 years of vested service with the state government which I will lose if I move to another state. I've worked very hard to succeed in life. I will be 30 soon.
My fiance is almost 24 and has recently finished her master's program and is in the first year of teaching/career. If she moves she will be leaving behind her large family and emotional support. Her best friends have moved away (200+ miles), only a few left in the area. Her base salary is the same as mine. Around $40,000.
I am not opposed to moving; however I would lose my time in service towards my retirement. The jobs pay $6,000-$10,000 less than what I make here for double the caseload. The price of a house is about $125,000 more an equivalent in the general area I live in now (Give or take 1 hour)
Her family is great. I care about them alot and get along with them. My future FIL is the best part. I understand I am trying to reason with her on a economic/financial level but I am also trying to compromise in terms of which area will be the best for us in the future. I want her to be happy as possible.
Notes: We are comparing Roanoke, VA vs Elon NC and surrounding areas. I have $86,000 saved so far for a downpayment on a new home.
Thanks in advance!
We live 1.5 hours away from each other. One of us will have to move away from our family and friends. I only have my grandparents left and they are both elderly(83); while they are able to do for themselves, I do assist them quite often. I make/made this a clear issue before I start to date anyone.
My background. I have a career and make decent money and also have rental properties in my area which provide steady income. I also own my house outright. I have 8 years of vested service with the state government which I will lose if I move to another state. I've worked very hard to succeed in life. I will be 30 soon.
My fiance is almost 24 and has recently finished her master's program and is in the first year of teaching/career. If she moves she will be leaving behind her large family and emotional support. Her best friends have moved away (200+ miles), only a few left in the area. Her base salary is the same as mine. Around $40,000.
I am not opposed to moving; however I would lose my time in service towards my retirement. The jobs pay $6,000-$10,000 less than what I make here for double the caseload. The price of a house is about $125,000 more an equivalent in the general area I live in now (Give or take 1 hour)
Her family is great. I care about them alot and get along with them. My future FIL is the best part. I understand I am trying to reason with her on a economic/financial level but I am also trying to compromise in terms of which area will be the best for us in the future. I want her to be happy as possible.
Notes: We are comparing Roanoke, VA vs Elon NC and surrounding areas. I have $86,000 saved so far for a downpayment on a new home.
Thanks in advance!
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment