My husband and I have been married for 8 years and together for 11. He has been diabetic since I met him but sex wasn't really non existant until about a year or two after we got married. The sex became less and less and then when we did have sex, he would lose his erection. He told me shortly after this started happening he would talk to his urologist and get help. Then things would get somewhat better to where we would have sex without him losing his erection, but we would only be doing it 2x's per month. I talked to him about how infrequent we were having sex and it would get better for a while, then we were right back to the beginning - occasional sex and lost erections. Now about a year after we got married, I caught him on dating sites looking at woman's profiles and in chat rooms titled "married but still looking". When I confronted him, he said he was just masturbating to the photos (which I never believed - they have porn for masturbating) , but he swore he wasn't cheating or seeing anyone else. I choose to forgive him and move on. The issue is, we are now back to lost erections and very infrequent sex. Our sex has never been intimate or romantic, which is my fault for letting it continue for so many years. I have always felt like it was just sex and quickies. I talked to him about my feelings again today, but where I'm at is, are these lost erections truly medical, is he interested in someone else or could it be a combination of both? I have checked his texts and haven't found anything. He is always on the iPad when we're home and on it late at night after I go to bed. This makes me think he might back to the online dating sites again. I have asked him if he was but he denied it. I am just so confused, but more than that, I have lost my self esteem, and I feel so unattractive. I am a very sexual person and I've tried to get him to try different positions over the years, I give him oral sex, I've broug ht in toys, tried watching porn, talking dirty, yet nothing seems to make any difference. He's just not into any of it except the oral sex. I do know he masturbates because I've woken up in the middle of the night to it, but he's so embarressed to even discuss masturbation with me that I couldn't even tell him I knew he did it. I don't want to divorce over this, but I don't know if I can continue to be in a sexless, intimateless marriage. He says he's going to see his urologist in February, so I guess I'll see if he's serious about getting help this time. I'm probably setting myself up for disappointment once again but I'd just like to know if anyone else has experienced this and guys, does this sound like a combination of cyber cheating and/or the diabetes?
Put the internet to work for you.
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