My H and I have been married for 25 years. He recently had an EA with a woman he does business with. He is a truck driver, she is dispatch. The affair went on for 8 weeks. He says it is now over and I am wondering if he is telling me the truth.
Here is a little background. I had suspicions which he denied. Later I found out there was a burner phone. Once I found out what was going on, he apologized and promised it was over and would not happen again. A couple of weeks later, I found out about another phone. He had not ended it after all. Again I got the same story, "I'm sorry, dont know what I was thinking, its over now, blah, blah, blah." A couple of weeks later there was another phone. This time I found the phone and was able to read text messages. There were things like, "I'm falling in love with you", "I miss you so bad", "I couldnt wait for the weekend to be over so we could talk again". They also mentioned having lunch together the week before and wanting to meet up again.
I told him I was leaving him, and he got really upset, (or at least he acted upset). Promised he would end it with her, she meant nothing to him and the texts I saw were just a lot of trash talk that meant nothing. He said he would do whatever I needed and he wanted to stay together....
A few days later he left on his trip (truck driver) and he bought another phone (which he didnt tell me about, again I just found out). He said it was so he could call her and end the affair. He didnt want to tell me because I wouldnt believe him. He then went to see her on his way home so they could "get there story straight", so she would not lose her job. Most of there talking time was during her working hours. He denied going to see her until I found his route on his GPS.
Now he is promising again that it is over with her and even wanted me to go on his next trip with him, which I did. Obviously he could not talk to her while I was there.
As crazy as it sounds, If he is telling the truth this time and he actually ended this, I do want to save my marriage. The problem is: how do I know it is over?
The trust is gone now and I know it will take a while to get that back. He has promised to do whatever I need including getting another job so he can be here with me at all times. However, that wont be possible for at least a few more weeks. He owns the truck and cant afford to pay someone else to drive it right now.
I thought about getting a VAR but havent been able to do that yet. What are the chances he is telling the truth and actually ended this? Could all of the talking between them really be just "trash talk" and he didnt mean any of it?? What can I do? What do I believe???
Here is a little background. I had suspicions which he denied. Later I found out there was a burner phone. Once I found out what was going on, he apologized and promised it was over and would not happen again. A couple of weeks later, I found out about another phone. He had not ended it after all. Again I got the same story, "I'm sorry, dont know what I was thinking, its over now, blah, blah, blah." A couple of weeks later there was another phone. This time I found the phone and was able to read text messages. There were things like, "I'm falling in love with you", "I miss you so bad", "I couldnt wait for the weekend to be over so we could talk again". They also mentioned having lunch together the week before and wanting to meet up again.
I told him I was leaving him, and he got really upset, (or at least he acted upset). Promised he would end it with her, she meant nothing to him and the texts I saw were just a lot of trash talk that meant nothing. He said he would do whatever I needed and he wanted to stay together....
A few days later he left on his trip (truck driver) and he bought another phone (which he didnt tell me about, again I just found out). He said it was so he could call her and end the affair. He didnt want to tell me because I wouldnt believe him. He then went to see her on his way home so they could "get there story straight", so she would not lose her job. Most of there talking time was during her working hours. He denied going to see her until I found his route on his GPS.
Now he is promising again that it is over with her and even wanted me to go on his next trip with him, which I did. Obviously he could not talk to her while I was there.
As crazy as it sounds, If he is telling the truth this time and he actually ended this, I do want to save my marriage. The problem is: how do I know it is over?
The trust is gone now and I know it will take a while to get that back. He has promised to do whatever I need including getting another job so he can be here with me at all times. However, that wont be possible for at least a few more weeks. He owns the truck and cant afford to pay someone else to drive it right now.
I thought about getting a VAR but havent been able to do that yet. What are the chances he is telling the truth and actually ended this? Could all of the talking between them really be just "trash talk" and he didnt mean any of it?? What can I do? What do I believe???
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