Hi All,
Here is what happened and I am looking for some insight or advice, or maybe just some validation. I'm not quite sure what I am looking for.
I have been married for just over 10 years and we still have the same issues we have always had. Every time I think they are resolved or that I have forgiven and forgotten about them; something else happens that is basically the same thing just different circumstances. This last time here is what happened.
He came home from work and said that he was asked if he wanted to go on a business trip to see how another plant runs their equipment and facility. He said "Yes, but I better ask my wife first". Well I felt like he should have asked me before he said that he wanted to go. At this point I didn't want to look like the B*$@h that wouldn't let him go. His sister works with him so his whole family would know about it and they already don't like me very much. So I said "I guess but I'm not that happy about it." He asked me if I thought he'd be gallivanting around the town or something while he was there. He said it was just business. He went with 2 other men from his work. I told him that if he went out to different bars while he was there that that was gallivanting. And that I didn't want him to do that, that it would hurt my feelings. We hardly ever go out and get away from the kids so yeah him going out every night would hurt my feelings since I am stuck here with the kids all t he time. Well he texted me on the 2nd day he was gone and said he was going to the bar. I was very hurt and felt like he didn't listen to me at all when I expressed my feelings about that before he went. When I talked to him the next day we talked for almost an hour about how and why my feelings were hurt. He said sorry and that he didn't mean to hurt my feelings. Then I found out after he got home from the trip that he went out to the bar every night he was there. Even immediately after talking to me on the phone. I felt betrayed and terribly hurt.
We agreed to work on things and are planning marriage counseling starting in Jan. But until then we are reading a self help book.
I feel like I can't trust him to respect my wishes and my feelings. I don't know for sure why I am posting on here. I don't know what I hope to gain by it. But any insight or opinions might help.
Thank you for listening to me.
Here is what happened and I am looking for some insight or advice, or maybe just some validation. I'm not quite sure what I am looking for.
I have been married for just over 10 years and we still have the same issues we have always had. Every time I think they are resolved or that I have forgiven and forgotten about them; something else happens that is basically the same thing just different circumstances. This last time here is what happened.
He came home from work and said that he was asked if he wanted to go on a business trip to see how another plant runs their equipment and facility. He said "Yes, but I better ask my wife first". Well I felt like he should have asked me before he said that he wanted to go. At this point I didn't want to look like the B*$@h that wouldn't let him go. His sister works with him so his whole family would know about it and they already don't like me very much. So I said "I guess but I'm not that happy about it." He asked me if I thought he'd be gallivanting around the town or something while he was there. He said it was just business. He went with 2 other men from his work. I told him that if he went out to different bars while he was there that that was gallivanting. And that I didn't want him to do that, that it would hurt my feelings. We hardly ever go out and get away from the kids so yeah him going out every night would hurt my feelings since I am stuck here with the kids all t he time. Well he texted me on the 2nd day he was gone and said he was going to the bar. I was very hurt and felt like he didn't listen to me at all when I expressed my feelings about that before he went. When I talked to him the next day we talked for almost an hour about how and why my feelings were hurt. He said sorry and that he didn't mean to hurt my feelings. Then I found out after he got home from the trip that he went out to the bar every night he was there. Even immediately after talking to me on the phone. I felt betrayed and terribly hurt.
We agreed to work on things and are planning marriage counseling starting in Jan. But until then we are reading a self help book.
I feel like I can't trust him to respect my wishes and my feelings. I don't know for sure why I am posting on here. I don't know what I hope to gain by it. But any insight or opinions might help.
Thank you for listening to me.
Put the internet to work for you.
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