I know I said that I wasn't going to start another thread, but I wanted to try to get something off my chest. Many of the posters know of my story, but I'll briefly summarize it.
About 5 years ago, I discovered my wife had a brief (one month) affair with a co-worker. I immediately divorced her. 2 1/2 years after the divorce, we tried to reconcile, but I didn't love her so we called it quits. I had met another woman and am in love with her, so I couldn't.
Recently, My ex and I were talking and she again asked if we could try again. I told her no, and she asked why I couldn't forgive her? ( I do not understand why she cannot let me go) I know she has done a GREAT job, changing herself, and maturing as a person, and I really do forgive her, but forgiveness is not enough.
The main problem seems to be that she has never truly "gotten it" as in understanding the damage the affair did to me and to our marriage.
In thinking about this, I finally realized that I do not think it is possible for a WS to EVER truly KNOW what their cheating has done. I don't think any of them ever really "get it". UNLESS it happens to them, at a later date.
About 5 years ago, I discovered my wife had a brief (one month) affair with a co-worker. I immediately divorced her. 2 1/2 years after the divorce, we tried to reconcile, but I didn't love her so we called it quits. I had met another woman and am in love with her, so I couldn't.
Recently, My ex and I were talking and she again asked if we could try again. I told her no, and she asked why I couldn't forgive her? ( I do not understand why she cannot let me go) I know she has done a GREAT job, changing herself, and maturing as a person, and I really do forgive her, but forgiveness is not enough.
The main problem seems to be that she has never truly "gotten it" as in understanding the damage the affair did to me and to our marriage.
In thinking about this, I finally realized that I do not think it is possible for a WS to EVER truly KNOW what their cheating has done. I don't think any of them ever really "get it". UNLESS it happens to them, at a later date.
Put the internet to work for you.
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